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#73792 - 05/11/03 10:16 AM Anger management? (Not the movie!)
Logan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 1241
Loc: NY
I grew up being tought that one was not to express their emotions. For a long time i believed that, and would keep everything to myself, hidden untill i would lose total control and go into a rage. This continued until i had a showdown with the one person that commonly displayed this eratic, unpredictable behavior enshadowed by a constant sutle hostile overtone-my father and was sent away for the millionth time in my young life. But thats a different story.

i've found that the best way to deal with anger is (a) try to identify its (real) source,(not just the tip of the ice berg), (b) and deal with it and express it. What ever i do, i dont let it fester or suppress it-this just makes it alot worse.

Sometimes anger is just a refudge for some other emotion that one does not want to feel. It is like a way that the mind encrypts the message or feeling to protect it self

i found one of the greatest ways to tap into the emotions is by finding some sort of charged medium: a book with the protagonist being a hero fighting an uphill battle, a picture that dipicts a sad story, a song that psyches me up or calms me down. It really helps to break the shell or bipass the barrier.

Music is one of the most evokotive forms of media. It can touch the soul and mend the heart. -and helps changed the way we feel.

Logan

_________________________
"Terrible thing to live in Fear"-Shawshank Redemption
WOR Alumnus Hope Springs 2009
"Quite a thing to live in fear, this is what is means to be a slave"
-Blade Runner

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#73793 - 05/11/03 04:52 PM Re: Anger management? (Not the movie!)
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi Logan,

A professor once gave us a good image in class of what happens if we attempt to deny our emotions. Here it is;

Think of yourself in a swim pool or any body of water where you can stand on your feet and the water about waist high. Then think of yourself attempting to push a really big air filled beach ball under that water. The truth is, it is nearly impossible to do that. I have tried many times since the class. Well, he said, if somehow you have a smaller ball and you actually can push it under the water, let your hands go from the ball. The deeper you were able to get it down, the higher the ball pops out of the water. The ball is emotions.

We can't deny them, If we try to push them down so we can't feel them it won't work. But IFwe do get them down really far, when they come to the surface it is often in a horrible blast of uncontrolled feelings. He said that it is people who try to deny the emotions that wind up becoming serial murderers and other truly violent people.

Your point is a good one. Yet, now and then, I think we still try to ignore a feeling that we don't want to face--it is just that we don't try to bury it.

Take care--keep healthy.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#73794 - 05/11/03 06:48 PM Re: Anger management? (Not the movie!)
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"If music be the food of love, play on."

Shakespeare. Twelfth Night.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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