Thank you to everyone that has posted. I have been learning to let go - to not be in control. I didn't have control over my abuse, I didn't have control over my mother, I didn't have control over my sexual identity. I am choosing to love myself. I have been writing to another member and we have been sharing the wonderful things we like about ourselves, sharing our secrets. How wonderful to have someone who cares and says "I'm sorry." It has helped me to see why I am who I am. It is wonderful to find others that feel like I do. I am learning to feel normal. Keep writing - it works.
In others we find strength to face our monster, in helping others we can become the giant that defeats the monsters.