Glad you've come back to share more of your story.
There is a certain amount of healing that comes from simply telling out loud the things we keep secret.
I try to never give advice, but one thing for sure that I can say about recovering from sexual abuse, is that a therapist is indispensable.
Sexual abuse simply cuts across too many aspects of our lives; is too complex for any person to handle alone. I'm not sure if you've been able to find some professional help, but I would strongly recommend it. PM me if you want and I'll bet we can help you get in touch with some resources for therapeutic assistance.
Meanwhile, one thing you wrote really jumped out at me. You said,
before he forced me to do anything I had been letting him do the things he later forced me to do.
The use of the word 'forced' twice in the sentence above is indisputable proof that you were sexually abused. Many times in our confusion, grief, shame and guilt we are tempted to take on the responsibility when it is not really ours.
No matter how many times you had voluntarily 'let... him do things', the first time he forced you to repeat them, you were sexually abused.
Relationships are tricky business for all men and women, it seems to me.
With the devestating effects of sexual abuse, they can become impossible.
But there is help available and it is possible to have wonderful, loving relationships in spite of being abused.
Lots of guys here will tell you that it has happened for them.
Take care of yourself. And thanks for coming back. Let us know what we can do to help.