I'd like to introduce myself.i am a female hetrosexual survivor from India.( there is little awareness of child sexual abuse outside the west.I've been very lucky to live in a city where one of the 2 support groups for woman survivors of Csa in the whole country is located).
I have been deeply disturbed of late, by reactions to the disclosure of my abuse to a gay friend ( the gay movement is still in its infancy in India- it's just getting acceptable for people to come out as gay)He seemed to believe that what I was facing was specific to me as a woman and had to do with my social conditioning and attituides towards sex-in his words "if you feel its abuse it is but a lot of people who are abused don't feel that way" ( this refers to a number of gay men he has met)
I have some questions from you with respect to the above . I apologise if the same is painful to anyone.
1.gay men in India who have been abused feel that their abuse was central to their sexuality.
What are your concerns or reactions?
2. some gay men in India feel that what happened to them was not abuse but consensual sex and therefore transgenerational sex is okay and therefore there is no really such thing as abuse.( atleast where someone gay is concerned )
What are your concerns and reactions?
I have deep discomfort with the above views -they are patriachal and gender biased and homophobic -they strive to connect homosexuality and abuse where there is no such connection and they also seem to suggest that I am not quite "normal"
I would also like to know from all of you in terms of personal experience- what has it meant for you to come out as a survivor and as gay in the context of the gay community.I'd also like to know of resources on gay survivors-books articles etc.
I would be glad and thankful to get responses from this list.