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#72055 - 11/11/03 10:12 AM gay christian
abcd Offline
Member

Registered: 10/20/00
Posts: 189
Loc: GA
As I sit here amidst everything that is going on in my life (struggling to hold everything together), I realize that perhaps I am where I am supposed to be. Indeed, my feelings of wanting to change because it is wrong to be homosexual have become not wanting to change because I believe God wants me to be homosexual. I realize that there are issues that people here may have to tease out between their sexuality/abuse, etc.,. Still, I just wanted to vent.

Right now, I am still struggling a bit with everything. The coming out process has been painful and continues to be an ongoing process. However, I have been blessed with also supportive people (Christians in particular--my boyfriend is a Christian) who have welcomed me and encouraged me in my growth. Indeed, with all these current discussions of gay marriage bans and the like, I have come to realize that the way to truly win the hearts of people in this fight for civil rights is to help homosexual Christians show other Christians that there is a way to balance the two. By this, I mean to live a Christian, homosexual lifestyle. By removing such stereotypes of homosexuals, we can help remove some of the biases.

In addition, we can also convey to the homosexual community that there are Christians out there who do welcome them--indeed many Christians who are even gay. How often has the homosexual community engaged in self-destructive behavior, having thrown out their Christian morals. I do not mean to judge anyone by this, but rather to just say that there is a way to reconcile these things.

Anyway for those who are interested as a complement to their journey in combatting the effects of abuse, here are a few interesting websites...(the bottom one has a forum)

http://www.christianlesbians.com/churches/churchesweb.html

http://www.gaychristian.net/


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#72056 - 11/11/03 11:12 AM Re: gay christian
brian-z Offline
Member

Registered: 07/11/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Western USA
I checked out the link below and all I can say is, thank you.

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#72057 - 11/11/03 11:16 AM Re: gay christian
dwf Offline
Moderator/BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/24/03
Posts: 1223
Loc: Austin, Texas USA
Abcd,

I admire your courage in coming out to your fellow Christians.

I am not a Christian; but belong to another religion where homosexuality is strictly taboo and there is absolutely no room for any discussion or tolerance of different sexual orientation.

Additionally, I was sexually abused as a teenager by a mentor/guardian in this faith community.

I am now 49 years old have not yet come out to my co-religionists. With the help of a lot of therapy and the support of other gay men, I have chosen today, which is a holy day in my faith, to come out and withdraw my membership in my religious community.

It is a tremendously difficult decision to have to come to. I have been a Baha'i since I was 15 years old and my faith is one of the most constant influences running through my life.

As I said, I admire your courage and wish you all the success. You are fortunate that in your faith there are those who are tolerant and openminded. Of course, you found them because you were willing to take the risk in coming out.

I feel sure that what you are doing is what is best for you and for everyone else. As someone once said, it is what we don't disclose that makes us sick, not what we talk about.

Have you ever seen the documentary "Trembling Before God"? It is an examination of the lives of gay people who are Orthodox Jews, a religion that completely condemns homosexuality.

I would reccomend it as a way of gaining perspective and understanding.

Anyway thanks for having the courage to be who you are, and the compassion to come here and share about it with me. It will help me today as I do this most difficult but most necessary act of detaching.

May God bless us and keep us all close to Him.

PS In the past there has been a lot of church and Christian bashing from some in this space. I'm glad you're not letting that deter you from sharing your journey with me. To my mind, Christian bashing is just as wrong-headed and hurtful to all as gay-bashing. Just my 2 cents,

Your brother,

_________________________
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"

-Tony Joe White

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#72058 - 11/11/03 01:20 PM Re: gay christian
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
abcd - I agree with where you have arrived in your walk with your faith. There is a need for some christians to focus narrowly in order to make sense in their faith walk. For others, the path is less narrow. I encourage your present course; however, don't let others talk you into "their" system.

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#72059 - 11/11/03 03:01 PM Re: gay christian
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
I have found an accomodation that works for me but I'd like to hear from others in reference to how they call themselves Gay Christians when so many Christians and groups of Christian Churches, Christian church leaders, Christian followers, and Christian theologians reject gayness and sometimes gay people.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#72060 - 11/12/03 02:17 PM Re: gay christian
Justin113 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/30/03
Posts: 28
Loc: Minneapolis, MN
I understand that Christians sometimes accept gays. That's good.

I also understand that the religious right is potentially the most hateful, ignorant, bitter, lifeless, evil, nasty, corrupt, wicked, hypocritical, hurtful, spiteful, dishonest, unsound, illogical crazy cult there is in this country.

Religion is fine and good if it makes you feel fine and good about yourself and the world you live in. If it makes you feel bad or condemns you for you being you, then it's the bad one. Not you.

As far as I can see, fundamentalist religions of all stripes only serve to feed us deciet, torture the spirit, condemn that which enlivens us and turn us into savage idiots lacking all reason and common sense.

Maybe it's better to believe in yourself for a change.

LOVE is the best way to go in this world. Fill yourself with love, immerse your soul in love, give it to others, recieve it from others. And never stop.

-Justin


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#72061 - 11/12/03 03:30 PM Re: gay christian
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
Justin

I am very interested in how the very non-fundamentalists (inclusive of gayness) separate themselves from the very fundamentalists (condemning gayness). From my point of view the in-betweeners (hate the sin, love the sinner) make no logical sense at all. They're just trying to avoid confrontation and end up getting it from both sides. I hope that somebody here can describe that for me.

I agree that it is good and useful to believe in yourself. Self confidence is a powerful tool in terms of getting along in life.

What you say about love sounds very like what Jesus and a number of other spiritual teachers have taught.

What gets me is how the loving-Christians seem to be very quiet when it comes time to confront the hating-Christians. To me, it looks a lot like they covertly agree. Jesus was a revolutionist, a spiritual left-winger, an innovater, a rebel. These guys today look more like born again reactionaries.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#72062 - 11/12/03 03:31 PM Re: gay christian
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
I am a Christian, and while I don't know if I'm gay, bisexual, or whatever, I understand what it means to be conflicted in regards to sexuality.

What people forget is that, while the Bible does state that homosexuality is wrong, it says that a lot of other things are wrong too that are NO LONGER considered wrong.

We are who we are. God loves us, no matter what.

Thanks abcd. God loves us all.

Peace, love, and acceptance,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#72063 - 11/12/03 04:13 PM Re: gay christian
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
...and compassion, I might add.

God is all-inclusive. That is the nature of God. That is the bottom line.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#72064 - 11/12/03 07:20 PM Re: gay christian
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
I'd also like some explanation on how gay Christians make the separation between themselves and those Christians who outright or nearly outright condemn them.

In reference to the in-betweeners, I have to wonder why gay people would adhere to a religion that relegates them to second class status. Straight sex is not a sin, only gay sex.

Why does a gay person call himself Christian when the associations with that term are so often anti-gay?

Why not go with a more truth affirming spirituality which might freely draw upon the teachings of Christ but not the ancient and culturally defunct strictures of the Old Testament and Paul's racist and sexist preaching?

I ask these things because they describe the dilema that I have found myself in. I am hoping that someone who has successfully answered these questions for themself will share those answers with me.

Spirituality is essential to recovery but the God worshipped by those who surrounded me when I was a child did not protect children then even as he does not now and his followers seem just as bent as ever on pusing down and demeaning gay children.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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