This sounds very familiar. My wife has been very unhappy for a long time. I told her what happened to me at the beginning of the year. I totally understand the fear of losing. My problem was the total emotional isolation I had placed myself in. My lack of any emotion, I believe, led to her lack of emotion. Our situation is a bit opposite though. She has had no sex drive since our son was born, I have always been in overdrive. I think that I felt sex defines who I am. I am worthless without it, so I need it all the time. I have always thought this was normal for a guy in his early thirties. But now, I question everything I have felt or done. She was very depressed and emotionally alone for such a long time, and I was constantly pushing. I believe it drove a wedge between us. I am also trying to learn to live, to feel again. I have had an unofficial disciplinary transfer at work, and am in very real danger of my wife leaving me. She is trying so hard to help me and says she wants to help even if we split, but its hard to seperate the past and the present in my mind. Hopefully you can work this out. Just ask if you need anything. Everyone here has been very helpfull in my short time with this.
mh