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#71752 - 05/25/03 12:11 PM A refreshing but short trip
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Jeff and I went to Keywest for just a night as we wanted to get away and needed to get away. I couldn't spare any more time than that away as I have a test coming up on Wednesday and the funds are a little limited. But it was so nice to get away.

The place we went to is one that we really enjoy and one of the top spots in Key West for gays. We met another couple there that had been together for 8 years. It was refreshing to talk with them and find out that we had some very similar things in common. They were very nice guys and I hope we all stay in touch now. Living in a straight world all the time is tough on people such as ourselves that are gay because it is hard to find others who you can talk to and understand some of the things gay couples experience.

It was just nice to be able to be together with one another without wondering what someone might say or do to us or what would happen to us. And we actually walked around Key West holding hands and just enjoying each other. One guy at the resort thought we had just gotten married and was shocked to find out we have been together for 3.5 years. I told him we just keep growing together more and more and we continue to have more and more fun together. "I ain't ready to grow up" \:\)

Anyway a very fun and relaxing time that we both needed. The only bad thing is that it was such a very short time.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#71753 - 05/25/03 12:26 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Wow, that sounds like fun. \:\) I would like to be able to do something like that someday. I went to Provincetown once but it was with a girlfriend. It would be nice to be able to go somewhere with my partner that we could hold hands.

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#71754 - 05/25/03 02:08 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Marc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 256
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Good for you MrD! \:\)

The experience of naturally and unabashedly being able to show affection to your partner WHENEVER you want to can be very liberating.

I hope that someday, you and Jeff & also Josh and Dave have an opportunity to come to San Francisco. I have to say that sometimes even we face discrimination here (There's no 'perfect' environment for gays anywhere), but boy I'll tell ya, this can be really a great place to just be whomever you are and be gay and be with the one you love. (I do tend to forget what it's like on the 'outside' sometimes! \:D )

Let me know if either of you wishes to vacation out here, and my partner and I can show you guys around some!

Marc


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#71755 - 05/25/03 02:39 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
al Offline
Member

Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 143
Loc: canada


Marc and i went to his cousin's wedding reception a few years ago. He hadn't been "out" for very long so i was a little nervous how he would react. But it ended up he took the bull by the horns and dragged me up on the dance floor. He asked the DJ to play the tango so we had a little mock argument over who leads then i proceeded to dance him off his feet (which is hilarious since i'm 5'4 and he's 6'2 lol). It was a real blast.



Just the way it worked everybody was rolling with laughter and didnt bother us for the rest of the nite. Bonus was we didn get beat up in the parkin lot after

_________________________
Those who dance appear insane to those who cannot hear the music. Mark Kleiman

Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it. Winston Churchill

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#71756 - 05/25/03 03:00 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Marc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 256
Loc: Tucson, AZ
BTW Al,

The invitation is extended to you and Marc as well... just leave the dancing 'Jacks' behind \:D


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#71757 - 05/25/03 04:33 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Nice to know there are others out there as well. It is tough feeling alone in this world. Only one person at work knows about Jeff and I which is nice because we talk about our "significant others".

I am getting to the point where I accept things more and more and as I do that, I really don't care who finds out about Jeff and I. Of course, I'm not there yet! At work, I started out talking about "Jeff" as my roomate but now I just say Jeff and I. I try to not let there be any distinction at all as if we were a straight couple. I'm not sure if some are picking up on it or not but I'm tired of defining Jeff as my roomate out of fear.

I do get a kick out of people when one guy at work told me I am a ladies man. Yeah, the women don't have to worry about what my motives are and I'm a very sensitive guy. That one still makes me laugh. Than one day another lady in the office says, we have to find Don a woman yet. Yeah right... not interested!

The other day one lady said her favorite actor was Tom Cruise and I said, oh mine too but if I tell you why, it would probably embarrass you! LOL...

You know walking down the streets of Key West, it seemed like we were around a lot of families and straight couples. I don't know if many made comments about us holding hands and the occasional kiss, but too be honest, I was like I really don't care.

California... lets see I was born there but have never been back to visit the state in my entire life... hmmmmmm....

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#71758 - 05/25/03 06:45 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
You know guys the love you have for your partners and the comfort level you have with yourselves is such a refreshing thing to see and hear.

My wife and I do exactly the same thing. I am now starting to get comfortable as I am and she always has been. It has been a struggle for us all and it is really nice to know that I am not alone no mater where I am.

I am terribly proud of all of you

LYGsLAB
You brother wolf Mike


AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEE

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#71759 - 05/25/03 07:17 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Quote:
Originally posted by MrDon:
I am getting to the point where I accept things more and more and as I do that, I really don't care who finds out about Jeff and I. Of course, I'm not there yet! At work, I started out talking about "Jeff" as my roomate but now I just say Jeff and I. I try to not let there be any distinction at all as if we were a straight couple. I'm not sure if some are picking up on it or not but I'm tired of defining Jeff as my roomate out of fear.
Don, I have had the same feelings (as I'm sure most others have) and I remember when I first came to this site I was even afraid to say that I had a boyfriend! I am slowly learning not to care as much about how other people will judge me but it is still very hard, especially when I am not very large or strong and fear a physical attack. It has happened twice already and I have been "out" only since last November or so.

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#71760 - 05/25/03 08:07 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Doppelganger1 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 37
Loc: Miami, FL
Don,
It was my pleasure to hold hands with you, and I bet for every "straight" person that might have snickered, there was another one who secretly wishedhe/she could act on their feelings and not be ashamed of it. It was definitely an interesting experience!

I've never been to California, but perhaps someday we'll get there.

Jeff

_________________________
"Tough times never last. Tough people do."

Darryl Kile

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#71761 - 05/25/03 09:18 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
"don't you just love a happy ending ?"
Dave \:D

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#71762 - 05/25/03 10:45 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
I'm sort of speechless here myself.

and the only things that I can say is

\:\) \:\) \:\) \:\) \:\) \:\) \:\)

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

Top
#71763 - 05/25/03 10:53 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Quote:
And we actually walked around Key West holding hands and just enjoying each other. One guy at the resort thought we had just gotten married and was shocked to find out we have been together for 3.5 years.
Don (and Jeff),

For me this quote above shows just how much alike all committed relationships are, whether they're between gays or straights. I think just the part I quoted, given without context to any straight couple, would seem to make perfect sense and parallel what they already knew about relationships, and how precious it is to see a couple keeping their relationship fresh.

Thanks for that, and I gotta get offline and work on my relationship now.

Good night (or good morning, whatever the case may be),

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#71764 - 05/26/03 01:37 AM Re: A refreshing but short trip
rax Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/00
Posts: 75
Loc: Newark, CA
That was such a refreshing set of posts.
I really feel happy seeing gay couples hold hand and be emotionally connected.
I envy you guys (a bit).

Well, someday my prince charming will come and we'll live happily ever after...

love,
rax.


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#71765 - 05/28/03 09:07 PM Re: A refreshing but short trip
Sum12Watch Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 15
Loc: NE
Guys,
What a refreshing and beautiful set of posts.
Can I add some history, just in case it might be helpful to some.(I'm not trying to preach by the way, just giving a view of my life) I too know of the wonder and great feeling of being able to be ourselves in the world. I have known the fear too, even though I didn't think it should affect me.
Many years ago,(before some of you even knew you were gay.....hell, before some of you were born...but still at a time when it was starting to be ok to be ourselves), I knew that I was gay and was very comfortable with it. But then many years later, my partner and I moved to a new area, started new jobs, and never being one of those people who moved into town, bought a house and posted a sign saying "new gay in town", I naturally didn't publicize myself.
For the first time in my life, though, due to jealousy, not thinking or just because he must have thought it was fun( he was a "not happy homosexual"), I was "outed" by a guy at work. Boy, I was pissed. Not that I was not comfortable with who I am, but because I didn't think it was appropriate for someone else to announce it for me. (Actually, my own reaction p'd me off about myself.) Shortly after, however, was the great company Xmas party. My staff asked if "we" were going to the big black tie event. I said no. I would probably go for business purposes, but wouldn't put my other half through that. Well...they could not have been more supportive. Insisted that this was a family event and if we felt uncomfortable, that a group of them would meet us outside at the party and we could all walk in together so that none of the others at the party would know who came with whom. I have never been more touched, and I never learned so much about people being the people they really are. God, what a fantastic evening, and what a learning experience. Seems that, through the gossip pipe line, everyone in the company knew (or at least the ones without blinders on, who wouldn't have known if it had slapped them in the face) and no one cared. They truly were looking at us as a couple, not as sexual statistics. And I learned a lesson that I use and push to this day.
Which is: "Never underestimate the intelligence and compassion of those around you". In many aspects, we are lucky to be living in the times we are. My personal philosophy, which I throw out only as an example is---You don't need to announce to the world you are gay, but you don't need to hide yourself either. If someone has the guts to ask you if you are gay, one of two things is happening. Either they are truly interested in you as a person, and the fact that you are gay, will make no difference to them at all and only bring them closer to you friends......or.....they are trying to catch you in a lie.(And yeah, there still are some people like that....but are we going to let them rule the world?) I feel it can cause us grief if we are caught in that lie. I made the decision not to give them the satisfaction of catching me in a lie and have found myself better for it, both inside and out.
Again, I have to say, I am not preaching for someone to come out. Personally, I don't think it is necessary.We all have the right to privacy, straight, gay, inbetween. But as I mentioned before, sometimes we have this tendency to ignore the intelligence of the people around us. We may already be out and not know it.
And, hopefully, to make it more pertinent to the reason this forum is here, as survivors, one has enough to deal with, without having to worry about how one's sexual orientation affects the rest of the world. Sexual orientation is not the survivors fault, just as none of the things that happened in the past were the survivors fault.As a gay person, you are more whole than the person who abused you.

_________________________
"Love yourself, like you want everyone to love you." - no author, just popped into my head tonight, plagarize the Golden Rule.

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