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#71726 - 05/07/03 10:54 AM What is Incest?
dabear Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 05/06/03
Posts: 3
Loc: portland, maine
Incest with my Dad, I know. What about an Uncle who is not a blood relative? How is that termed?


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#71727 - 05/07/03 11:05 AM Re: What is Incest?
brian-z Offline
Member

Registered: 07/11/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Western USA
Incest can include members of your family that are not blood relatives. Like uncles, stepbrothers/sister/parents etc. The traditional definitions of incest come from the old testament of the Bible and are rather broad.


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#71728 - 05/07/03 11:19 AM Re: What is Incest?
Marc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 256
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Quote:
What about an Uncle who is not a blood relative? How is that termed?
I would term it 'ABUSE'. Try not to get too caught up in the terminology. My opinion this only serves to start setting a value structure to the abuse. I.e., this was more damaging to me because this person did this and that person did that. Abuse is abuse no matter who or how often.


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#71729 - 05/07/03 11:48 AM Re: What is Incest?
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Survivors of Incest Anonymous defines incest

Quote:
very broadly as a sexual encounter by a family member, or by an extended family member that damaged the child. By "extended family" member we mean a person that you and/or your family has known over a period of time. This may be any family member, a family friend, clergy, another child, or anyone that betrayed the child's innocence and trust. We believe we were affected by the abuse whether it occurred once or many times since the damage was incurred immediately. By "abuse" we mean any sexual behavior or contact with the child. Sexual contacts may include a variety of verbal and/or physical behaviors; penetration is not necessary for the experience to count as incest.
on their page at

http://www.siawso.org/approach.html

According to the resource directory in the back of "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew, Sexual Abuse Anonymous and SIA became one organization around the time that resource directory was compiled.

For me it boils down to "I know in my heart that I was sexually abused, and the labels and their etymologies don't really matter."

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#71730 - 05/07/03 05:04 PM Re: What is Incest?
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Dabear:

I would affirm what the others have already said.

The definitions in the Bible as Brian says are very broad, and that's where the traditional definitions that others build on come from.

The definitions in the groups for support & ministry & help for incest/sexual abuse survivors are also broad, as Joe points out with the example
of SIA, an organization & website with a 12 step emphasis worth checking out as they have lots of good literature for 12 steps.

The legal definitions become a bit more potentially problematic tho they are still varied & vague:

"The statutory crime of incest consists of either cohabitation or sexual intercourse between closely related persons, such as between parent and child or between siblings. Jurisdictions vary in their definition of what degree of relationship constitutes incest—for example, whether sex between first cousins or step-relatives is criminal. Many jurisdictions restrict the crime to acts between blood relatives—that is, people who are related by birth rather than marriage." (Encarta encyclopedia)

"sex between close relatives: sexual activity between two people who are considered, for moral and genetic reasons, too closely related to have such a relationship. Incest is regarded as a serious taboo in almost every society, although cultures differ as to the extent to which marriages are allowed between relatives." (Encarta dictionary)

"Incest: "sexual intercourse between persons too closely related to marry legally." (Webster's)

Clear as mud, right?!

Now I do think there are some distinctions made in the Bible, and in society as well. And I do think these, and certain legal distinctions, are important, for reasons I won't get into now.

But they have nothing to do with incest necessarily being any more heinous or incest survivors being any worse off as compared with any forms of SA and their survivors.

There are of course different kinds of SA & differences in them that may be of some importance
to the individual survivor.

But it's not a matter of measurement it's a matter of individual experience, needs & recovery.

I like what Marc says:

Quote:
I would term it 'ABUSE'. Try not to get too caught up in the terminology. My opinion this only serves to start setting a value structure to the abuse. I.e., this was more damaging to me because this person did this and that person did that. Abuse is abuse no matter who or how often.
Here is some stuff I've picked up along the way that may be of some interest?:

Cannibalism--devouring human flesh.

Incest--devouring human spirits.

The two great taboos...

Incest--a dangerous curse, a mysterious force, that brings great evil upon & severe injury to people.

Taboo--a word I've recently seen used in titles of books on incest:

"Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo", Hani Miletski (Good booklet; I have it.)

"The Broken Taboo: Sex in the Family", Blair Justice, Rita Justice

"Forbidden Partners: The Incest Taboo In Modern Culture", James B. Twitchell

"Incest, The Last Taboo: An Annotated Bibliography", Richard Rubin et al

"Incest Avoidance and the Incest Taboo: A Psychohistorical Study", by Miln Kaous

Hope this stuff helps, gives some good food for thot, whatever.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#71731 - 05/08/03 12:09 AM Re: What is Incest?
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
To me, I always looked at "incest" as being sexual abuse done by a member of your immediate or extended family. On the other side, I see being sexually abused by someone outside of your family as being molestation. In a way, they both describe the very same thing and in many ways, the appropiate label isn't too important either. More important is identifying, healing and moving forward from what happened.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#71732 - 05/08/03 06:13 PM Re: What is Incest?
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
I think if your related to them by (father) or by marrage (uncle)somehow connected by (I think) three degrees of seperation then it would be incest.

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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