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#71699 - 04/24/03 04:45 PM school troubles
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
Hi,
this is my first post so I'm sorry if I mess up.
I'm not sure where exactly to post this so...

I'm gay. I was assulted when I was 14. I had a group of freinds my first year of college. they were all very feminine I'm not. One day we were talking and they asked me about my first time. I didn't answer so they kept pressing until I told them. There first response was asking if I was sure I was gay. Then I never saw them again. It was wird they just kept avoiding me.

I'm now in another year of college in a new school (I moved back home) and the nightmeres have returned. We read this easey in the english book about how rape is all mens fault and that the victum deserved it. I triggered big time. I'm currently not in treatment though a victums service center has suggested it to me. The first time I seeked help my theropist said that men don't get raped. I've switched theropists since then. My feinds in this school have started to notice I aviod stuff and get very vocal when the topic is on violince and mens violence (I'm in a genders class with them).

Sorry I know that this is fragmented. I just had to finnally let it go someware. thanx. \:\(

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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#71700 - 04/24/03 07:15 PM Re: school troubles
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
John, I do understand how that feels. Society (especially with the feminist movement, which is great but I think getting out of hand-- the genders are supposed to be EQUAL, not women BETTER) refuses to admit that men can be raped or even be anything but the agressors.

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#71701 - 04/24/03 07:28 PM Re: school troubles
StrangerInAStrangeLand Offline
Member

Registered: 04/23/03
Posts: 33
Loc: Puyallup, WA
It really sucks that those "friends" of yours weren't sensitive to you and your experience. It's even worse that someone who claims to help people with their emotions for a living could flat-out deny the existence of something that is very real, at least to you and me and the rest of the brothers here. I think you should try to seek help. A good counseler, therapist, group, whatever can really help to let some of your intense emotions escape from their mental prison and put things in a new perspective. I know what it means to live in a climate that ridicules and denies your biggest, darkest, secret truama. I don't know what it's like to be gay in an unnaccepting society, but I do know the pain of rape and you shouldn't have to go through it alone. I would be careful to make sure you trust who you are sharing with, however. Those "friends" certainly didn't seem to show any compassion. Also, not to suggest that you are somehow mistaken about your sexuality, but if your SA was your first experience with sex those kinds of feelings can be veery confused. I was fortunate to experience sex before my SA, and I know the difference. If you need any more help/have questions, reply and I'll be glad to be there.


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#71702 - 04/25/03 02:41 PM Re: school troubles
michaelb Offline
Member

Registered: 04/21/01
Posts: 211
Loc: cincinnati, ohio
JONATHON: you should be so proud of your bravery...even though you experienced ignorant responses from your so-called friends you were true to yourself....i so admire that quality and so wish i myself had it, but alas, i do not.....

you said your group of friends was somewhat effiminate....did you ever think that some of them may very well be gay but are unwilling to admit that to themselves????

STAY STRONG.....I ADMIRE YOU......michael


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#71703 - 04/29/03 08:48 AM Re: school troubles
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
Hi John.

Dude, telling people will always be hard. Never knowing how they will recate. I guess thats why my abuse will always remain my secret. I think that if i told my mates what happened they would recate in the same way, and run-a-way. I to am at uni. And Its hard, I know, but stay with it, we are all here to help!

I'll see you around, take care bruv.

Elliot.

_________________________
If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!

DISTUBED VISIONS OF AN UNDERWORLD!!

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#71704 - 05/08/03 05:37 PM Re: school troubles
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
Thanx guys.
Quote:
Also, not to suggest that you are somehow mistaken about your uality, but if your SA was your first experience with those kinds of feelings can be veery confused. I was fortunate to experience before my SA, and I know the difference. If you need any more help/have questions, reply and I'll be glad to be there.
I've delt with this question it seams over and over again. Sometimes I see a and think damn she's hot but I know I couldn't have with her. With s it seems like I know I'm suppose to really whant it but in reallity I don't. I don't know if this is making much sence. I have felt stuff for guys all my life even before my SA. Its like theres Zap, where with s there is no Zap. I know this doesn't make much sence and sometimes I'm really confused and sometimes It seems all that simple. I also started a S/G alliance in school so that makes things even tougher. Its ok(not nessesaraly acceptible) in my family to be gay but to be Bi is totally uncool in my family, especially if I choose to be with a guy wich is what I'm currently looking for.

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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#71705 - 05/08/03 05:40 PM Re: school troubles
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
Quote:
you said your group of friends was somewhat effiminate....did you ever think that some of them may very well be gay but are unwilling to admit that to themselves????
I know that they were all gay. But alsoo they liked to dress up in drag and that just isn't me.

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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#71706 - 05/08/03 05:49 PM Re: school troubles
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
Quote:
(especially with the feminist movement, which is great but I think getting out of hand-- the genders are supposed to be EQUAL, not women BETTER)
I wish not to be offensive to any here. SP wile this is true about some groups of feminists I have found that it is not true of all groups. Quite a few groups of feminists whant men and women to be equal. this presents itself in the growth of mens studies programs and some genders studies programs wich present men and women as equals. Unfortuantly this leveling of the playing feld have seemed not to hit some topics partly due to the lack of reasearch in those areas such as mens eating disorders and male and consequently male prostitution. I feal part of this is due to the stigmatism and public ignorance of the exectance of such issues.

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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#71707 - 05/08/03 05:54 PM Re: school troubles
JonathanKhonsu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 72
Loc: PA
Thank you again all for your posts please feal free to prove me wrong. Agan my resons for posting is not to upset but to hopefully get to the truth of matters. And my reson to post my origional post ws to vent some of my anger and to find a place were I could get some support and answers to some of my questions. I really needed your comments to get through that week. Thanx again.

_________________________
"Ave atque Vale"

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