DOES ANYONE TRULY BELIEVE THAT WE, AS MALES, COULD BE IN TROUBLE WITH OUR OWN SELVES?
HOW DO WE ARRIVE AT THOUGHTS AND HOW DO WE REALLY REACT TO THEM? I FOR ONE, AM AFRAID TO SLEEEP ANY MORE. I HAVE THESE BAD THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THAT WON'T LET ME SLEEP.......FEELING LOST...............

Thoughts come whether we want them to or not (and whether we are male or female) it is what we do with them that counts. Do we sit and explore the possibilities of the bad thoughts that come? If so, then we are heading for trouble. But if we try to work out where the thought originated then we can work out if it is good or bad. For many of us we get thoughts and ideas that grow out of our abuse. There can be an urge to act out our abuse on others. So think of what that abuse did to us, and we will not want to follow it through. Think about the fact that the urge to act it out is a way of trying to understand how it happened to us - and then spend time thinking about that, not about acting out.

Most people are fucked up in one way or another so don't beat yourself up about it. Focus on how you would like someone else to have treated you in the same situation and then treat them that way.

That's my approach anyway.

Fenics

hello all. I agree with your theory fenics, but I ask how many times does one try to follow up on somebody elses screw up. Just today I get a message from my neurologist that he cannot "FIND" A report of the MRI that was performed on me last Wed at Vanderbilt hospital. How can one person who had to go through 3/4 of an hour of an x-ray test while listening to a jack hammer sound notknow that a test was performed. Then ysterday the # 1 nurse for my primary dr. of the HMO I have been in since Jan. 1997 wanted to know WHY I needed a wheelchair? Since that time I have TOLD them many times that I was struck by a NYC subway train in 1990. The ENTIRE problem began with me when I was raped many, many times in a HOSPITAL when I was only seven (7) back in 1951. I am not the only one that was fucked!!!

goflyakiteV,
I usably lay in bed for 20 minites going nuts thinking about my SA before my meds kick in and I'm dead to the world! I take 4....(.5mg) of Klonopin "Everytime" that I go to bed...if I forget..I can't sleep or have the worst dreams! I think that meds were made to help people to do things like sleep when they have PTSD...get a good Pdoc and get some meds for sleeping. If I hate the world and would kill someone than talk to them...and still sleep...I think that you could with the right meds...Good luck!!!!

Eddie

me too. only takes 1 mg of klonopin.
But I also take 2400 mgs of neurontin and
30 mgs of ritalin. I hate sleep because I remember too vividly. THe ol benzo takes care of me.

THANKS GUYS......I'M TRULEY SORRY FOR NOT GETTING BACK FOR SO LONG, BUT I WAS IN A SITUATION MAY 9th.

I WAS GOING HOME AND SAW A GOOD LOOKING GUY SITTING ON THE CURB ON MY STREET, AND IT LOOKED AS IF HE WAS CRYING, SOOOO I STOPPED MY CAR, ROLLED DOWN THE WINDOW TO SEE WHAT WAS WRONG AND HE CAME UP TO THE WINDOW AND HE GRABBED MY CROUCH, I SCREAMED, HE TOLD ME TO SHUT IT AND GOT IN THE CAR, HELD A KNIFE OUT AND PROCEEDED TO GET MY DICK OUT. I TOLD HIM, OK, OK, JUST DON'T HURT ME.

WE WENT TO A DARK STREET AND HE SUCKED ME OFF. AFTER THAT I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING. I WOKE UP, WITH A BLOODY HEAD, YES MY PENIS WAS STILL THERE,I THEN DROVE HOME! I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE WAS, AND I MIGHT ADD, I WILL NEVER, NEVER, NEVER STOP AND ASK IF ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH ANYONE AGAIN!!

AM I BEING SELFISH? TRIED TO TELL MY SHRINK, BUT COULDN'T. HE WOULD JUST CALL THE POLICE AND I WOULD HAVE TO TELL THEM WHAT HAPPENED, AND THEN IT WOULD START, MY WHOLE STORY.........WELL THAT WON'T HAPPEN.

OH, THE NEURONTON ETC... I CAN'T TAKE, I HAVE REALLY BAD ASTHMA AND THOSE PHYSCO DRUGS STOP MY BREATHING. THERE'S NOTHING I CAN TAKE FOR THIS PROBLEM, SO THE SHRINK TRIES TO HIPNOTISE ME, DOESN'T WORK ON ME EITHER....WELL I THINK I WILL GO OUT AND GET SOME DINNER, MUST KEEP UP OUR STRENGTH YOU KNOW....... THANKS YOU GUYS...SCOT

if your shrink does things you don't want to happen tell him to go hang!
He should be there for you at a time like this, and if he isn't WE ARE !
Lloydy


[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: Lloydy ]

HEY LLOYDY....YEAH, I'M BRUISED, BATTERED, BUT NOT BEWILDERED AFTER THAT NIGHT WITH THAT NUT. I AM GETTING OVER THAT NIGHT....SLOWLY THO, JUST HAVEN'T GONE OUT OF THE HOUSE YET, ALARM STILL SET AND KNOW THAT I HAVE TO GO GET FOOD MAKES ME WANT TO GET A BODYGUARD. HEY, WHY NOT GET A BODYGUARD? OH YEAH, THAT WOULD COST MONEY, WHICH I DON'T HAVE MUCH OF.

WELL, MAYBE TOMARROW I'LL GO OUT FOR GROCERIES....WE'LL SEE........SLEEP WELL TONIGHT, AND LOCK YOUR DOORS......SCOT

Scot
Take care man, but don't become a fucking hermit. If you do then the bastards have won.
And remember, don't starve to death either !!!
Lloydy

THANKS LLOYDY.....I WON'T! TAKE CARE...SLEEP WELL TONIGHT.....SCOT