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#71232 - 08/22/01 06:12 AM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
pondboy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 59
Loc: benicia, california, usa
gadzook. thanks for your wonderful thoughts. they are inspiring to me. and will be to others. you are so clear about yourself. you will always survive. keep going!!! chuck


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#71233 - 08/23/01 06:31 AM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Just Call me J Offline
Member

Registered: 07/14/01
Posts: 204
Loc: Inland Empire, California
I'd like to give a voice of support for Babs being in here. No one has ever jumped on me for going into the Family and Friends board, so why should we go after her.

Except for ONE post, Babs has been friendly and supportive. And even in that one post, she had a VERY good point. She was justifiably angry (wouldn't you, if you heard "rape" as just some by-product of being "horny").

I don't care whether it is another survivor, or a friend/family member of a survivor, that gives me support.

J
There is a reason why my .sig is
We're in this together.

_________________________
We're in this together. - Nine Inch Nails

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#71234 - 08/23/01 07:03 AM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Gadzook Offline
Member

Registered: 12/10/00
Posts: 72
Loc: Papillion, NEBRASKA (USA)
I happen to agree with you.
I think everyone of us has heard someone say something that set us off. I think it is okay to question the "why" someone said something to get clarification. At the same time I feel everyones point of view is so important on this board. What may not give one person good advice may indeed give another. Let us never be afraid to question one another. It's the only real way we can have a open forum and to include all different opinions and ideas.
We all at one time or another have been at the point where we do not understand what someone is trying to say. This may be frustrating or upsetting at times. I am not perfect nor do I expect anyone else to be. I think as long as it is done constructively - to vent is just one more way to heal.
Be it a survivor or a friend/family of a survivor - we all need an outlet. But remember what I said - as long as it is done constructively.
So don't be afraid to question and don't be afraid to have an opinion. But do it with the thought in mind (especially here) that everyone in one way or another is going through something that just puts us all (from time to time) on that roller coaster ride of emotions.
Support with an outlet is very important to us. Without it we end up pushing all those feelings and ideas and frustrations deeper inside of ourselves. That can be dangerous. We know what happens next... Then we blow!
I support people to constructively speak their mind. But let's try and be understanding and sympathetic and remember this is not an easy road for anyone. At least we have a place where we can all go for the advice and support of someone close to our situation. That's why most of us are here any ways.
gadzook



_________________________
~Gadzook

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#71235 - 08/23/01 07:43 AM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
bosishere Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/14/01
Posts: 161
Loc: nashville,tn,usa
GADZOOK - VERY, VERY WELL SAID. I HAVE JUST ONE THING TO ADD -- GOOD BYE. BOSISHERE


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#71236 - 08/23/01 03:01 PM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
getteddie Offline
Member

Registered: 07/19/01
Posts: 226
Loc: Cub Hill, Md
Everyone, I agree with gadzook that this is the best site on the net for male SA support and I have been everywhere. I did find out one thing about Male SA Support. In the USA it is the second least supported group...the first least supported group is The Family and Friends of Male SA Survivers!!!!!!!!!

Eddie


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#71237 - 08/23/01 03:52 PM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Gadzook Offline
Member

Registered: 12/10/00
Posts: 72
Loc: Papillion, NEBRASKA (USA)
Quote:
Originally posted by getteddie:
Everyone, I agree with gadzook that this is the best site on the net for male SA support and I have been everywhere. I did find out one thing about Male SA Support. In the USA it is the second least supported group...the first least supported group is The Family and Friends of Male SA Survivers!!!!!!!!!

Eddie

******************************************************************************************

Very Interesting. I did not know that. But I would have to say that I would believe that.
What a shame!
GADZOOK



_________________________
~Gadzook

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#71238 - 08/23/01 03:58 PM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Gadzook Offline
Member

Registered: 12/10/00
Posts: 72
Loc: Papillion, NEBRASKA (USA)
Quote:
Originally posted by bosishere:
GADZOOK - VERY, VERY WELL SAID. I HAVE JUST ONE THING TO ADD -- GOOD BYE. BOSISHERE


Sorry to see you go.
But if you must then you must.
In the words of a great philosopher -
"T.T.F.N"
"Ta Ta For Now"
-Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.


O.k. so maybe he wasn't any great rocket scientist or anything....
It's a joke people! :-)

I know you all are laughing on the inside...
I just hope you all are laughing "with me"!!

Gadzook


_________________________
~Gadzook

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#71239 - 08/23/01 06:35 PM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Anonymous
Unregistered


Hi all, read through this whole thread and think we should'nt get so worked up about peoples differing opinions.
The issue here is SA. As well as all the havic it has coused in all of our lives.
I read every post with a grain of salt.

I know people have a wide veriety of experiences and copeing mechanisms. I am not shoked or surprised , at Eddies way of expressing himself. He is being honest and open about his way of handling the SA.

I can also understand Blackleafs revoltion to the thought of having sex with another man. Let's try to be a little more resptctfull of everyones opinion. It won't help any of us to nit pick.

Peace and Frienship,
Dan \:\)


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#71240 - 08/23/01 07:55 PM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
Gadzook Offline
Member

Registered: 12/10/00
Posts: 72
Loc: Papillion, NEBRASKA (USA)
Quote:
Originally posted by Danman:
Hi all, read through this whole thread and think we should'nt get so worked up about peoples differing opinions.
The issue here is SA. As well as all the havic it has coused in all of our lives.
I read every post with a grain of salt.

I know people have a wide veriety of experiences and copeing mechanisms. I am not shoked or surprised , at Eddies way of expressing himself. He is being honest and open about his way of handling the SA.

I can also understand Blackleafs revoltion to the thought of having sex with another man. Let's try to be a little more resptctfull of everyones opinion. It won't help any of us to nit pick.

Peace and Frienship,
Dan \:\)


;\) Well put. I think it's time to put this one behind us and just move on. End of subject. We have more important matters at hand then to bicker amongst one another.
Gadzook


_________________________
~Gadzook

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#71241 - 08/24/01 05:59 AM Re: Why is Everyone SEXUALLY PIGEON-HOLED??
pondboy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 59
Loc: benicia, california, usa
thanks Gadzook for putting perspective on this discussion. For some people, having no women in this room gives it a special place of safety. for other guys, it makes no difference. the room was set up intentionally as a "male only" room which I think was a good idea. straight men often have a different perspective and they are ok in this room too. The issue is how we support each other, listen to each other's hearts and ideas and honestly share our hopes and fears. let's not get distracted from that purpose. :rolleyes:


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