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#71036 - 11/28/06 03:39 AM My Friend Bubba
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Jaysen asked me about male friendship,
you know the kind, us vs them
homo vs hetero
is it possible? Water & Oil?

Well let me tell you about my friend Bubba, who happens to be hetero. We met more than a year ago after he ventured North to the wilds of Massachusetts from big bad NYC. I am old, he is young, well, almost, but we clicked almost right away and that the was beginning.

There is usually some event that brings two guys closer, a bonding in a platonic sort of way, and so it happened. One's love/lust gone astray, or more like the shuttle disaster way back when Ronnie was in the Big White House.

We walked, rode, cried and talked. We went all over the place, found shelters to wonder,
ponder or just do nothing but be silent and listen to the wind.

The nasty souvenirs of the past punched their way out of their deep sewers, splashing all the ugly crap from the past.

It was difficult for both, because the past terrors of one, mirrored in the other
"No! Not now! They were hidden. No one was supposed to know. Why?!"

And my friend Bubba said to me because it is time to begin the healing process my friend. And he listened, then I listened to him.

Our true confession sessions ended, it was time to start our own separate treks into the past, the present. We understood each other's pain
but we did not experience it. Some things can not be shared.

Today we went for a ride and talked, but mostly listened to an lady from Argentina sing her heart out, and the music brought more than comfort, I turned to look at his face,
we were at a stop light,
and I saw the dried trickle of a tear on his cheek. Water is a cleanser, it eases some of the
pain and it can be difficult to do, yet I felt honored that my friend trusted me enough to cry without shame, in my presence.

And that's why we are friends. We exasperate each other, we tease, laugh, say nothing and try to go on living. Ain't easy. But gotta try, so my liitle prayer is "give us this day, our daily mug of espresso, but easy on the neurosis de jour thank you. And watch over all my friends in pain. And you know who I am, there's only one Froggy12. Amen." And there's only one Bubba.

Friendship is special.

froggy12

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#71037 - 11/29/06 03:53 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
blueelectron9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 387
Loc: Victoria, BC Canada
i am full of emotion and humanity after reading your post.

my mp3 player started to play "Mourir Avair Quinze Ans" from Da Da Da as i read your post.

sometimes i think i should believe in god.

such beautiful words must come from a beautiful soul. it is an inspiration to me ti know that you are capable of such connections with other humans and men in general. you have described what i have longed for since childhood.

thank you, brother.

gratefully,
scott

_________________________
An odd duck who likes even numbers.

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#71038 - 11/29/06 04:23 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Thanks Scott,
I think guys are afraid to express their feelings, 'ain't macho' - fuck that shit.

I listen to a lot of strange muisc on "Radio.Blog.Club" - Bubba got me to listen to various things and I could connect with the words and music and understand the feelings. But the music can send me to a different level that I used to get when I did dope. Now I don't have to use. Emotions are a wonderful thing if we learn how to deal with them and not freak out. We are emotional beings and are supposed to feel, not be numb. Real friendship can bring out all sorts of healthy feelings we anglo-saxons usually suppress.

God is what you want God to be. sexless, no beard, energy itself, love itself. But don't worry about the form, just yell "Hey there God! What's up today? Show us/me the way to happiness, peel away our pain of the past, show us/me how to love and be loved. That's all God. Thanks for today. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

froggy12 wondering aloud

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#71039 - 11/30/06 03:13 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Right now I am in shock and devestated. I haven't heard from Bubba all day. I called and called, then his called his housemate who told me he had run away to kill himself because the mental pain is too much. She called his therapist. All We can do is pray up a storm and wait.

God why!? Don't take my friend away. Please.

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#71040 - 11/30/06 05:30 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
I kept calling his cell ph and about 11 p.m. he answered and we cried. I know those who are about to leave this world via their own hand don't usually advertise the fact and it is a rather dramatic cry for help. But I watched my brother go pyschotic and try to jump in front of a very large truck in San Francisco a long time ago. I grabbed him and I think it took me 2 days to calm down. I have realized that I have had quite a few traumas in my life, sexual and non, and you know what? It wears a person down. Froggies aren't like cats, they don't have 9 lives. I wonder if I can become a reincarnated troll after all? Nah. I like being a frog. Trolls have bad breath.

The one and only froggy12 and many are grateful that there is only one of me.

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#71041 - 11/30/06 06:22 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
Koveri Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/06
Posts: 80
Loc: Dallas, TX
Ah, but frogs are amphibious. They can live in water or on land. They are good at adapting. Pretty tricky! And, frogs are cute, too. You ever see a cute troll?

I'm glad to hear Bubba is okay. Why not invite him to this forum? We'd all love to meet him.


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#71042 - 11/30/06 06:52 AM Re: My Friend Bubba
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Already here. Didn't you know, we are both of the anonymous club!

ribbit, ribbit
froggy12

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