I was just reading the thread, and I wanted to chime in too - stop seeing that therapist!
That is a really bad therapist. He shouldn't be telling you what did and didn't happen. He should be helping you figure out - you're the person in the room who knows, not him.
From what you describe, I think it makes perfect sense you don't remember what happened. You don't feel safe now, so your mind protects you by keeping memories deep.
When you're in a relationship, you feel safe. So your mind lowers the barriers some, and you start remembering more. :p
At least that's what happened to me. I kept even the existance of my molestation repressed for almost thirty years. There were no details, since nothing had happened.
Since I now feel more comfortable and safe, I've begun to remember, and the details have started showing up.
All the things Derek said make sense, and are a lot like what I want to say, so I won't repeat them.
About being intimate with a boyfriend, are your feelings of being raped coming from being with a man, or from specific acts? If the latter, are there things which your father & uncle didn't do to you that you think you'd enjoy?