Newest Members
andrewmartin, Aurigny, Luther, LuckyCharm, Jennifer Lyons
12251 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
AdawgJR (28), Brian (50), hikerpark (52), Jeremy Welch (47), Logan81 (2014), Olson30 (60), Patrick7958 (56)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 42 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12251 Members
73 Forums
63105 Topics
441302 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#70809 - 12/04/00 10:59 AM seeking justice
vasqguy Offline
Member

Registered: 12/04/00
Posts: 1
Loc: Arlington, VA, USA
My brother and I were both molested by a deacon in the Catholic church (studying to be a priest). The man had been put in charge of the *altar boys*, believe it or not. I am fairly sure they already knew he had a "problem" (we were actually told he "had a problem" by someone in the church...we stupidly guessed it was alcholism). I was 10 and my brother was 12. My brother told our parents, and they told some friends that they had "heard" this was going on, but of course everyone's reaction was "oh, no, he wouldn't be doing that. he's studying to be a priest." I came out when I was 19 and I don't really believe that this has effected me in a negative way except that I still feel really angry about it and wish there was something I could do to somehow resolve those feelings. I am 33 now, and this happened in 1977. He must have been molesting other boys, because soon after my mother started to ask around, he disappeared suddenly (he had been there only a few months and was supposed to be there much longer).

After all this, my question really is, is there a way to seek justice? I would at least feel better knowing that this guy was not still around molesting other little boys. I know some specific details (his first name only, his physical desc. at the time, the city and church, and approx. dates). Does the catholic church (I gave up on them long ago) have any sort of way to investigate these things? Is there anything I can do????

Thanks so much.


Top
#70810 - 12/12/00 10:30 PM Re: seeking justice
deafguy9 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/00
Posts: 2
Loc: rochester, ny, usa
Quote:
Originally posted by vasqguy:
My brother and I were both molested by a deacon in the Catholic church (studying to be a priest). The man had been put in charge of the *altar boys*, believe it or not. I am fairly sure they already knew he had a "problem" (we were actually told he "had a problem" by someone in the church...we stupidly guessed it was alcholism). I was 10 and my brother was 12. My brother told our parents, and they told some friends that they had "heard" this was going on, but of course everyone's reaction was "oh, no, he wouldn't be doing that. he's studying to be a priest." I came out when I was 19 and I don't really believe that this has effected me in a negative way except that I still feel really angry about it and wish there was something I could do to somehow resolve those feelings. I am 33 now, and this happened in 1977. He must have been molesting other boys, because soon after my mother started to ask around, he disappeared suddenly (he had been there only a few months and was supposed to be there much longer).

After all this, my question really is, is there a way to seek justice? I would at least feel better knowing that this guy was not still around molesting other little boys. I know some specific details (his first name only, his physical desc. at the time, the city and church, and approx. dates). Does the catholic church (I gave up on them long ago) have any sort of way to investigate these things? Is there anything I can do????

Thanks so much.



Top
#70811 - 12/12/00 10:31 PM Re: seeking justice
deafguy9 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/12/00
Posts: 2
Loc: rochester, ny, usa
[QUOTE]Originally posted by deafguy9:
hi-

you are not alone. i was molested by church people too


Top
#70812 - 12/18/00 03:15 PM Re: seeking justice
JeffNYC Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 10/22/00
Posts: 6
Loc: New York, NY, USA
dear vasqguy,
there can be ways to get some justice for the horrible stuff you went through. there have been several recent cases around the country where the catholic church has been forced to change its procedures, acknowledge its responsibility and sometimes even pay damages to the abuse survivors/victims.

there should be lawyers or anti-abuse organizations in your area who know about these cases. an internet news search over the last 2-3 years should also give you some leads. i am a lawyer in new york city, and i might have some contacts that could help you, depending on where you live now and where the abuse happened.

one thing that enrages me is that the catholic church still fights like hell against taking any responsibility for its actions. they will probably fight you. however, that would only make me want to fight more.

the church is likely to argue in court that too much time has passed since the abuse, and it should be ignored (the "statute of limitations"). that argument can be beaten, i believe. one of the symptoms of abuse is that it's hard to learn to take care of ourselves. i think that that argument should win, and i think that it has in some cases.

let me know if i can be of any help, email at jdrummond@earthlink.net. good luck. you deserve justice, and your efforts will help others, too.

Jeffrey


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.