I am feeling very good - Not good in the sense that life
is under control - but
maybe good that - I am ok with my life not being perfectly under control.

I wrote a friend tonight - this note:

----

Things are crazy - and I am a bit dazed by all I am trying to do -

but it's getting done - spending more than planned - but that sounds familiar and
not just for me - as the norm -

---

It's a good feeling to see myself - with not a perfect picture - and be aware that
that's ok -
and be ok with it as well


peace,

M

Hi Mark;
It must be truly rewarding to be able to let go and not fix oneself on everything having to be absolutely perfect. I know for in the past I was an extreme perfectionist. There came a day when my life turned upside down, and I couldn't be that perfect person any more. At first I lost it totally and felt if I couldn't have perfection I didn't want to live. My whole world as I knew it came crumbling down. It was as if I lost all control, and control being the key word. Thankfully I worked out this change in my life and now looking back I realize I was sweating the small stuff. In my journey I realize it was God who helped in this revelation, and now I don't fear if things aren't just right; my world will not come to an end.


I hope you continue to feel as free as you expressed yourself. I think it is a wonderful step in a positive direction! Best to you!

Thanks Eddie. ()

I can definitely relate to this, considering my recent counseling session topic from yesterday.

AKSean

Mark,

When a move to a new place doesn't have the results we want right away, I think it's to be expected that we will get worried and concerned about it. We are tempted to ask ourselves a pile of "what have I done" questions.

In that situation it's a good idea to remember that even when we have what we think we need, our lives are still not under our control in many ways!

Much love,
Larry

AKSean,

It seems that something big is troubling you about your evaluation from yesterday. I do hope you will share it with us if you can. It's always better to talk about these things, rather than hold onto them in silence and alone.

Much love,
Larry

MarkGB,

All I know is that my life is varied. I can control some issues, others not so. I like variety in my daily life, I get bored otherwise.
I know what is healthy, and vice versa. Sometimes it's fun being a mental masochist, doing the 'masochism tango*' all by myself. But I have to be on guard 'causes it can eat me up.
froggy12
*thanks to Tom Lehrer from the back of beyond times.