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#70715 - 09/28/06 03:12 AM on my mind.
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
i have a question.

for myself - i have never been in too long of relationship.

the longest was 5 years -
but it was more
on again off again and i was very young -
and my bf was 12 years older -

the idea of committing to someone -

well - who truly fulfills me - i think -
is an unknown right now -

i think - i guess, i wonder -
it's frightening to bond -
it's frightening to get attached -

will i loose myself ? will i be devistated when
not ready.

will i become ineffectual
or work -

probably not - but it might change......

?

it might get better - eh?
life might get much better!

- as one person said to me once.

"when you're in a relationship - every big decision you make affect not just you but you and your partner.... now on"

the questions of
'how will this affect him? me?'
whatever

... it's scary but moving on...

it's starting to feel much more aproachable.

as i get to know myself more and more. it's maybe not that scary afterall - and just part of what treasure and excellent stuff life can bring. \:\)

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#70716 - 09/28/06 03:20 AM Re: on my mind.
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

I don't think those questions can really be resolved except when we actually are faced with the decision of pursuing a relationship with a specific person.

I think it would be disastrous to connect with someone if the result would be the destruction or utter transformation of our persona as an individual. That would be as much as to agree that only the other person's needs and priorities matter.

But on the other hand I think we are all changed when we enter into a close bond with someone else. After all, if it's a real relationship then we are concerned not just for our own happiness and fulfillment, but also for that of our partner. We realize that we cannot be happy individually unless we are happy together.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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