Newest Members
Xr2, clt, Lumpy, squeekinby, rhyoung
12371 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
drivejoepublic (44), eagle299 (43), H18 (21), JJJ (43), mariposaman (63), SevenTwoTwo76 (39), TexAgMan (37), waiter (44), wgwarch (55)
Who's Online
2 registered (JW1230, 1 invisible), 35 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12371 Members
74 Forums
63587 Topics
444230 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#70688 - 09/26/06 01:04 PM NIGHTMARES
watstobe Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/06
Posts: 40
Loc: Jackson, NJ
I am curious to learn if anyone suffers from nightmares. The nightmares I endure stimulate memories of the years I was molested. I find the dreams extremely disturbing. Additionally I wonder why I am encountering them at this time in my life. Now at the age of 43 I find these dreams to be increasing and I don’t understand why. In my late 20's I went through therapy and assumed I worked out all the demons associated with the years of molestation I encountered. Nevertheless, does anyone else experience the same. If so, do you wake with your heart beating so hard if feels like it will burst out of your chest. I find it hard to shake off, and it takes a while before I can return back to a semi state of sleep. I would appreciate hearing from anyone else who has a familiar experience. Thanks

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#70689 - 09/26/06 02:08 PM Re: NIGHTMARES
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
I don't undesrtand this either

i seem to have body memory too

where it feels like something is happening

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#70690 - 09/26/06 02:39 PM Re: NIGHTMARES
soapy bubbles Offline
Member

Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 332
Loc: london


_________________________
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” --- Eleanor Roosevelt

Top
#70691 - 09/26/06 03:47 PM Re: NIGHTMARES
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
nightmares,yes,they are a huge problem for me,i turned to meth because i'm afraid to sleep.i think we feel so bad after cause while i am dreaming its as real as when i'm awake ,its like being hurt all over again ,everynight. my dreams are dangerous ,i have woke up miles from home no clue how i got there. for me my dreams are about guilt ,in them it is my fault and ewveryone who was connected to my childhood are in them ,standing watching him abuse me ,pointing and telling me i deserve it. a person can only go so long without sleeping ,but sleeping is worse than staying awake. there are meds that can help ,but for me i think its gonna take dealing with my guilt to stop them. physicaly they are wearing me down even when i do sleep its like i been running a marathon all night. in my dreams i am being offered a chance to make it all right ,but i got to die to do it. they become dangerous when i start to believe what they tell me. they are very violent, yes, . its real hard going through it over and over everynight

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

Top
#70692 - 09/27/06 04:53 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
watstobe Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/06
Posts: 40
Loc: Jackson, NJ
I now realize I am not alone in this situation. I have attempted to resolve the issue by discussing the matter with a therapist, but he doesn't get it. In the past I had an excellent therapist who actually endured molestation himself. He was compassionate, caring and comprehended my feelings. The therapist of lately does not address this problem, except to advise me to go to sleep at the same time each night and before going to bed reassure myself that I will not have any horrific dream. I desperately want these nightmares to stop...it is like reliving the abuse day after day! I wonder why the dreams returned. I was free of them for years! Thanks everyone for your responses, it was greatly appreciated.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#70693 - 09/28/06 01:54 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

A survivor's nightmares arise from some unresolved issue or problem, and I'm surprised your T can't be more helpful. Has he not recommended anything other than reassuring yourself before you go to bed?

There are lots of things you can do. Many guys here will tell you about their stuffed animals, for example. Some sleep with a small light on in the bedroom. Another strategy, if you wake up, is to fix a cup of herb tea and read something for a few minutes, perhaps with some relaxing music on. If it's the same dream over and over, but the dream doesn't seem to finish before you awake, then when you do awake, invent a positive ending to the dream and think of it every time you have the dream in the future.

That said, I really do think that something has come up to bother you and THAT is causing these dreams. Perhaps you have recently seen or read something that has triggered you, or something may have happened in your presence to remind you of events from the past.

If that's the case, then discovering and dealing with this cause would be the best solution.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#70694 - 09/28/06 03:35 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
cat lover Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 89
Loc: Denver, Colorado
I think nightmares are normal. I didn't have nightmares, per se, of my ex's rape of me, but there certainly were lots of issues at play which prevented me from sleeping (and sometimes still do, 3 1/2 years later). The betrayal and broken heart were on par with the physical for me. The emotional recovery took a lot longer. It may still be in progress. In my case, I think it's normal that some guys have nightmares.


Top
#70695 - 09/28/06 11:16 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
soapy bubbles Offline
Member

Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 332
Loc: london


_________________________
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” --- Eleanor Roosevelt

Top
#70696 - 09/28/06 11:41 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
SB,

One of the worst emotions an abused boy feels is fear. There are so many mixed-up emotions that he will feel all at once, but he will always be able to pick out this one. It's difficult to describe. His ability to trust is collapsing, he sees the world as entirely unsafe, terrible danger seems possible anywhere and any time, and what makes it all even worse is that he has come to think that he deserves what's happening to him. He's so so afraid.

Unless resolved in therapy that feeling will linger in various ways and affect him in adulthood. Since this is an unresolved issue from childhood, a child's remedy is often very helpful. A stuffed animal assures him that he is safe after all, and in a way I think it's also a way of claiming our innocence back.

So yes, very much a comforter, and your bf's pillow may be serving the same purpose.

Why not get him a cuddly stuffed animal? ;\) He may be embarrassed and think it's silly at first, but it isn't. If it works, hey, go for it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#70697 - 09/29/06 02:24 AM Re: NIGHTMARES
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
i relive my incest in my dreames..they come and go..also a lot of running away..then some violent dreames..then some like i am riding a bike fast all of a sudden there is no more ground and i am falling and falling..forever until i get startled and wake up..just a few of mine....steve


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.