I want to thank all the guys that have contacted me both privately as well as on this board. It has really helped to know I am not alone in all this. Right now there are too many things still happening around this matter to sort out. They are assigning me to a boys home now which is supposed to be pretty bad. The legal stuff is a nightmare, a lawyer even made some wise cracks about me that made it seem that this all might be my fault (like I was the aggressive person here). The only possessions I now have are my clothes (and I only have a very few) and this computer. I don’t have any of my regular friends and do not even live in a town where I know anybody. My family definitely blame me for the whole thing because my Dad is in jail and he will lose his business and house I guess. I guess in a way I should have handled this whole thing better. All the problems just seem to keep getting bigger and bigger and there is no end in site. My life is worse now than it was when I still lived with Dad except I am no longer beat. Its bad to say I know but I almost wish I could just go back to him, maybe this time I could help him more to get over his sickness. I tried before but obviously I didn’t try hard enough. I didn’t even report this to the police, it was the hospital that called them. When the detectives came, I lied for a long time about what happened but they knew the truth anyway. I still am blamed by my family for this whole mess. Wow I just realized how negative this whole post seems. Sorry guys, I know you all have your problems as well. I will probably not write more here as I just have to do something to get out of this whole mess cuz I can’t stand it any more. Thanks again guys and I wish every last one of you all the best. Have a good life

hello i was talking to u online and i hope everythings going ok. i am in my own recoovery right now. between a book and therapist im starting to see. life will only get better u have made a start for the rest of your like.

David do not blame yourself for what the grownups in your life are doing! I am sorry that they are blaming you. That is just so wrong!

I hope the court is getting you a therapist to see. Do not be afraid to tell the therapist all that happened, and your thoughts about it. About thinking that you are gay, it could be that you are gay, or it could be that because of what was being done to you, you think that you are gay. I am not trying to make you go one way or the other, I just want you to keep a open mind on it.

Take care,
Clifford

David,
Please do not stop posting here! As you have seen, there are many brothers who are very interested in your story, and want to cheer you on to a better, healthier place in your life.
It may sometimes be very difficult to see "the light at the end of the tunnel." But, things can get better -- for you, and for each of us. Often, it takes time and hard work, but we can recover from the abuse we've received (none of which was our "fault").
Please take good care of yourself, David, and stay connected to this site.
We care, we are concerned about you, we send you wishes for peace, and we send you our love.
(((David)))
Love, etc.,

David,

Hang in there with us, Buddy. You are worth having a good life. You did not do the wrong thing. Your father did. He's to blame and he is the one who should be bearing all the shame.

This was NOT your fault. It never is the fault of the child or teen. One of the men here has a sig line that says "Children cannot consent, they can only comply". That is so true in your case as well as mine and the rest of the guys here. It was the choice of the abuser to do what they did to us. We had no power in the equation and simply had to comply. There were no other choices.

It's easy to look back from after the fact and say "I should have done this or I should have done that", but those thoughts come as a result of knowledge we learned from what happened to us and were not available to us while we were so vulnerable.

Rest easy, Bro. You are loved here and we want only the best for you in your life. We'll be here to help hold you up when you need it. Just stay connected.

Lots of love,

John

Wow, I can't begin to tell you all how much of a help it has been being here with all you. I have received so many personal messages and everything. You all just made me snap out of it a little and take a step back and look at my whole situation. I now realize that while I am still going through the court stuff and foster care and everything else, I just have to take each day and get through it and not fix my whole life now. I came very close to just ending it all a few days ago cuz I just couldn't cope with it all at once I guess. I know I am really confused but at least today I feel better. I just got out of the chat room and met 2 new very nice guys that offered so much advise. This website is just so good for me as it has given me the opportunity to meet so many great people. I hope someday that I can help you all too. I hope we all can just take a deep breath and look at something good that is happening to us now. Its to easy to get lost in the bad things. Well I know I am rambling so will stop for now. THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!

David

David,

That's exactly it bro! You will have challenging days again in the future, but when they come just look back to the 27th of August 2006.

Much love,
Larry

David,

You post brings me happiness!

I'm glad this place has been a positive influence for you. That is exactly the reason it exists. I'm glad you are learning that there is a future beyond all this pain. Hang in there, Bro. You are worth it.

Lots of love,

John

David,

I am so glad you are feeling better. I'm thinking great thoughts for you my friend.

Dale

this is very true - about looking at what is

good around us -

i agree larry -

it's hard to do - but it's important -

if even to just make a joke

to kick that down stuff away -

it ain't easy - but a great reminder

Cheers-

Mark