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#70403 - 07/17/06 04:41 AM kinda confused
DeafDavid Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 38
Loc: NM
I am new to this site. I am a 16 year old boy that am just very confused and don't know what to do. Hope this is a safe place to talk. My bad experience is still very new (few days ago).


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#70404 - 07/17/06 04:57 AM Re: kinda confused
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11026
Loc: Denver, CO
Hi David. I used to interpret for the deaf. My signing is rusty, but I still know most of it. I have only a couple of deaf friends now.

I'm sad that you have to come here, but I'm glad you found this resource. Talk when you are comfortable doing so. Welcome to the board.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#70405 - 07/17/06 05:06 AM Re: kinda confused
DeafDavid Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 38
Loc: NM
Thank you Andy.It was hard to write so am happy to get a reply. So you know ASL? How cool! I am what they call profoundly deaf (born this way and am totally deaf). That does make communication harder. After "it" happened I was injured quite badly and had to spend several days in the hospital and that was really bad. The police didn't have anyone that could communicate with me. They all treated me like I was retarded or something instead of just deaf. I am just as normal as anyone, just deaf. Oh well, thanks for letting me vent a little. I feel like I'm kinda freaking out but I am strong and will be ok. Thanks again Andy.


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#70406 - 07/17/06 05:57 AM Re: kinda confused
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11026
Loc: Denver, CO
Hi again.

You're welcome.

Actually, I don't know ASL, but would like to learn. The friends I learned sign from 21 years ago taught me SEE instead. I manage to communicate ok with ASL folks though. I have some past experiences with deaf culture and it has been one of the better times in my life. For awhile, I felt like I belonged somewhere. I have also read two books that are quite insightful: A Deaf Adult Speaks Out, and Dancing Without Music.

That's a pity what happened with the police. I feel like smacking folks like that upside the head. But then, that's the same situation with people who speak out of turn about SA, right?

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#70407 - 07/17/06 06:36 AM Re: kinda confused
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Hi David,

I too am so sorry you've just been through such a bad experience. I helps so much to know that there are people out there who understand the terrible trauma, doesn't it.

Please understand that there is no pressure for you to tell what happened to you. That will all come if and when you are ready for it to, and not before, and that's OK. Just hang around with us and talk to us about the things you can talk about, or you can just hang here and read other people's posts if you wish. Just know that you are welcome here. Glad to have you aboard, but so sorry of the reason you are here.

Safe Hugs,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#70408 - 07/17/06 02:42 PM Re: kinda confused
DeafDavid Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 38
Loc: NM
Thanks again for writing me back. I know this will help in a way. Is this a safe place to describe what all happened? I have so many things still to do. They are putting me in a new home. I have to go to court which I don't know if I can cuz "HE" will be right there looking at me and I have to say everything that happened! I know it is hard to make people understand me at times cuz my speech is not as good as it should be in that I am deaf but they hopefuly will have an ASL interp. there. I don't have any of my things now either. Oh well, I sound like a baby. I'm almost bald now cuz they cut off my hair when they did an operation and I look like a freak to make matters worse. Well I have to stop for now but I will get up courage to tell my whole story cuz I know inside that it will help just putting it all down if that is ok here?? Some people might already know my story anyway cuz the whole thing was in the newspaper anyway, HOW EMBARRASSING!! Anyway, thank you for being here.


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#70409 - 07/17/06 03:34 PM Re: kinda confused
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
thank you for being here, shadow

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#70410 - 07/18/06 10:10 PM Re: kinda confused
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
David, So sorry for the things that have happened to you. It's hard to believe when you first come here that so many people really do care about what happened to you and how you feel about all of it, but they really do. And the amazing thing is that, even though all of our experiences may have been very different, we really do understand how it makes you feel on the inside. You may or may not want to share exactly what happened to you. But when and if you do, it will be handled carefully and tenderly. We understand also the pain of telling the stories. We're so sorry that you have a need to be here, but always welcome the chance to help someone understand that, even though they have experienced one of the most difficult things the world can give anyone to deal with, no one has to go through it alone. Talk to us. That's what we're here for.

Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#70411 - 07/22/06 02:46 PM Re: kinda confused
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Greetings, David.
Welcome to the brotherhood of MS. We are all here for you, as well as for each other. It's ok to relax a little here and just take a few deep, cleansing breaths.
You are doing the right thing, court wise, and I applaud your courage. Eventually, everything will get better.
Here's a big hug of welcome and support.
(((((David)))))
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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#70412 - 07/26/06 12:34 AM Re: kinda confused
DeafDavid Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 38
Loc: NM
Thank you for taking the time to write me back. My life here in this place sure sucks. They are hiding me because of the witness thing. Its official now, I am what they call, a ward of the court. That feels really strange. Now my mom can't see me either. They charged her with something like failure to protect her minor child so its like now she is not my mom any more. So now I am on my own I guess, but I am glad of that cuz I think I can take better care of me than anyone else has. Well I have been doing alot of thinking about all of this. I know alot of it is my fault. When he would do all those things to me, there was a weird part in me that liked it. I guess I never said here that I am pretty sure I am a gay boy, hope it is ok to say that right up front. I am not ashamed of that but I was made to feel bad from him about it (boy he called me every bad name given to gay people I have ever heard, and alot of names I never heard before, lol). It was I felt like a love for a few minutes till it got violent. He made me do things and would stroke my hair and stuff and for awhile it was loving but it always changed for the worse. I guess you can tell that it happened quite a few times so you can see that is my fault. I should have stopped it right away I know but I guess I always hoped that each individual time would be different. I really don't know what I would do that made him so mad at me. I tried to be what he wanted so he wouldn't get sooooo mad but I just don't understand, maybe cuz I don't hear I don't understand things I should. The only time I ever got up the nerve to say no to him was the last time when he about killed me. I know its not right what he did to me cuz I was actually hurt really bad. Now although I just don't know what will happen to me here as its all out of my control just cuz I am a minor. Well I don't even know if anyone will read this but it helped me anyway just writing it down. I know other guys here have also had really bad things happen to them. I hope someday I will be able to help guys here as well. Well I kinda hate to stop writing cuz I don't feel alone when I am writing. Thank you to anyone that takes the time to read my babbling, lol.

David


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