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#70096 - 04/15/06 10:28 PM sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
just the thought of breaking a routine that is
so comfortable and warm and friendly

can seem so cold - or painful

unsurmountable -

but i find that as much as i love so many of you

on this site -

alas - you're not here -and i can't love you in person -

so it seemed an iron door - of cold unknowing -

but really - i just need to do in a sense is see

it for what it is - it is but an adjustment -

i am not saying good bye to any of you - no siree bob -

but i am adjusting to find groups of the same supportive sort here and now -

so that maybe one fine day - i can have friends

and lovely warmness here in TO too -

it took a while remember?

it's been past three years now i think -

anyway -

it's just a sharing my thoughts post -

peace good friends \:\)

mgb

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#70097 - 04/15/06 11:09 PM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

You are doing absolutely the right thing bro. Much as we care about each other here, there isn't much we can do for each other in terms of immediate local support. We all need to find that.

Toronto is such a wonderful lively city. I am sure you will succeed in finding good friends there.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#70098 - 04/16/06 12:00 AM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
thanks

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



Top
#70099 - 04/16/06 11:32 AM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Mark:

Having experienced support groups from both ends of the spectrum, I have found that each has its place. THis forum has the advantage of anonymity, which is very important to some because of trust issues.

On the flip side, a support group which is face-to-face can be a powerful tool and one that liberates many of our fears. When I first walked into the therapist's office I found 6 other men sitting there in a circle. I was terrified - these people will know who I am, what I do for a living.... will the accept me? Will they think I'm a freak?

I barely spoke for the first two sessions. But then, I saw each of them lay their very souls out on the line - trusting in the fact that we all have similar experiences and that our pain is like a fragile, fine piece of porcelain. I learned that they each took my life and soul and held it gently in their hands. And, out of this experience, I developed a tremendous friendship with one member which has lasted over the years.

We can call on each other anytime and know that the other will understand the problem.

I wish you the best of luck in your quest - take your time in the search - make sure that you find a group that is "right" for you. The process doesn't work unless you feel comfortable enough with those around you. Remember, there may be some fear in the beginning - it's taking a big risk - but in the end, I think you will find it a very powerful experience.

At the same time, I think you will also find it important to stick around here, too. There are so many out there who are terrified and have no place to go. I know from experience of living in a city of more than 3 million, that I only found ONE support group for male survivors.... and that was only after countless embarrassing telephone calls to rape centers, crisis switchboards, etc. So for some, this forum is the only thing available.

If I can offer one more piece of advice also - if there comes a time when you are feeling strong, it is easy to move away from these groups. But, I personally feel that it's important for me to bring back something in return - when I feel strong, I remind myself of those who held me up when I couldn't do so for myself - so I try to be there for someone else who may need a shoulder to cry on, a gentle hand to grasp to pull out of the depths of despair.

So, I hope that you continue to post from time to time and let us know how your quest is going.

SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#70100 - 04/18/06 12:55 AM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
Thanks SD -

It was a beautiful response -

I really appreciate the time you took to craft this for me -

You are lovely thanks everybody.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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#70101 - 04/20/06 02:09 AM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Thank you MGB - I always try to speak from the heart.

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#70102 - 04/20/06 03:52 AM Re: sometimes going out there into life - can be like stepping into a cold pool
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
cheers.

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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