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#70023 - 03/21/06 03:27 PM My T said: Anti-D
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
It was two years ago that I was rushed to the hospital with a bleeding colon. It was also around that time, I just realized, that I told my therapist about my memory of being molested by a pediatrician when I was 8.
My biggest trigger is coming up next monday, when I have to see my Internist for my 4 month check-up for Crohn's disease. I never had a doctor till two years ago, when I was forced to. My fears of illness all these years could have been related to the abuse incident giving me the message, if you go the doctor, he's going to touch you inappropriately, because you were a bad boy, etc. Even though I'd been in therapy my whole life, this key factor had never come up. So, with this acknowledgement, the fears and anxieties are still strong, so my T has suggested medication for fear.
Who has had any experience with Anti-Depressant/anti Anxiety meds? Thanks.


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#70024 - 03/21/06 04:35 PM Re: My T said: Anti-D
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
i think you'll get a lot of replies to that. i was on zoloft at one time. really not a big deal. it seemed to slow my mind down, as i am the type whose mind runs non-stop at full throttle that was kind of nice. i'm not on any currently, but i am in a healhtier place and don't really need them.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#70025 - 03/21/06 04:48 PM Re: My T said: Anti-D
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
pbfurm,

I think you will find that a lot of guys here are under medication for depression.

My own experience was that I was pretty much out of control before I was willing to admit that I needed help with that. I was just so scared of ASKING for help, because I feared (correctly of course) that this would just be the thin edge of the wedge and soon everything would come spilling out. What I never thought of was that all the bad feelings I had about myself were erroneous, and that by asking for help I would get precisely that - help, and not judgment, scorn, contempt, or whatever.

Medication regimes for depression depend a lot on the patient, and there is no sure way to predict what will work and what won't. I was lucky. The meds prescribed for me were the right ones from the start, but you may find that you get side effects or other problems that require that the doctor adjust the meds a few times before finding the combination and dosage of meds that's right for you.

There's also the problem that the meds take awhile to kick in. You may not feel any improvement at first, and in my case I felt over-medicated and worried about that because of my drug abuse problems in my youth.

The bottom line, though, is that the meds have made a world of difference for me. And as I make progress with my T she keeps in close contact with my doctor, and eventually they hope to reduce and finally eliminate the medication.

There's a big temptation to judge yourself when you start all this. There is a huge stigma about having emotional problems in the first place, but in reality the meds are just like any other. You are taking them as a contribution to your health.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#70026 - 03/22/06 05:53 AM Re: My T said: Anti-D
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Hi Larry,
Huge stigma, in whose universe? I don't understand what you mean. Are you talking about hetero men who are afraid to express their innermost feelings, for fear their peers might consider them a sissy-man? Is there anyone who doesn't have emotional problems, and is so well-adjusted they carry no emotional baggage? And what administrative hierarchy dictates such rhetoric for you to make such a sweeping generalization about mental illness? If we could just kill off our Limbic Systems, our lower brain, maybe we could just forget about anti-depressants altogether. There is current research about suppressing the evil Limbic brain.

I guess your comment may have ignited and fired a raw nerve....


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#70027 - 03/22/06 08:10 PM Re: My T said: Anti-D
Steven Heath Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/06/06
Posts: 81
Loc: New York City
pbfrum.......i believe there is a difference between antidepressants and anti anxiety meds......i have been on both at one time or another.....i am now not on either.....they have a definite clinically correct application.....sometimes we need a chemical (medication) introduced to our system because we need it chemically.....sometimes we need them because we are going through a period where we need something to help us get through the strong emotional journey we are on.....i think with the correct doctor these meds can do wonders for a while......steve


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#70028 - 03/24/06 09:56 PM Re: My T said: Anti-D
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
pbfurm,

Quote:
Huge stigma, in whose universe? I don't understand what you mean. Are you talking about hetero men who are afraid to express their innermost feelings, for fear their peers might consider them a sissy-man? Is there anyone who doesn't have emotional problems, and is so well-adjusted they carry no emotional baggage? And what administrative hierarchy dictates such rhetoric for you to make such a sweeping generalization about mental illness?
Sorry I triggered you with my post, but I think we are missing each other "in the night", as it were. What I mean is that men (straight, gay, or whatever) often feel that they ought to be able to face their emotional problems and "get over it" somehow. I don't think it's a sexual identity issue, but rather a gender issue. I think men have a greater tendency to see themselves as failures if they admit they need help with emotional issues.

Remember that what we are talking about isn't a willingness to discuss personal and sensitive feelings, but a willingness to seek medical help for emotional difficulties. In the latter case the fear of being ridiculed as a sissy doesn't arise, since a guy can keep his medical issues private if he wants to do so.

I think the problem is especially acute where survivors are concerned. Again, I don't see the problem as one of adult sexual identity, but rather the heritage of low self-esteem - even worthlessness -left to us as boys. A man struggling against that already just won't be in a good position to ask for the help he needs.

Perhaps gay men do find it easier to deal with emotional problems like depression, in which case I am off the mark. At the moment I just don't see how sexual identity would figure into this. But hey! There are lots of things right in front of my nose that I don't see!

Let me know what you think, okay?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#70029 - 03/25/06 04:48 AM Re: My T said: Anti-D
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Larry,
Speaking for myself, I consider myself an amalgam of male and female characteristics. I've always been in touch with my feelings. I never caved to peer pressure in school, or followed anyone other than my own sense of how I should think and feel. I think this issue could never be pigeon-holed into one right answer. I think it is pure rubbish to let men off the hook because they are egoic, testosterone freaks. It's their loss if they want to "lead lives of quiet desperation." I think most gay men have an advantage over straights as far as the way each deals with their mental health.


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#70030 - 03/25/06 05:14 AM Re: My T said: Anti-D
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
I can't and won't speak about anti-depressants as I have no experience.

Anti-Anxiety medications I know a little about. I've had them prescribed 2 or 3 times in my life - Valium and Xanax. They were helpful for getting through some very tough times.

I know I ended up throwing out most of these pre>
_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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#70031 - 03/25/06 05:27 AM Re: My T said: Anti-D
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Don,
Thank you for your encouraging words. I will be more assertive with my internist. His response in the past was to suggest blood pressure meds, since it is high at my appointments.


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#70032 - 04/03/06 04:05 AM Re: My T said: Anti-D
blueelectron9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 387
Loc: Victoria, BC Canada
FWIW, I have had a lot of experience with psychopharmacological drugs, since I have been on and off numerous ones during my lifetime.

I can't tell you which is right for you. From my experience, anti-anxiety drugs can be useful for the type of situation you described--seeing the doctor. Anti-depressants tend to take a few weeks to take full effect.

Some of the "older" anti-depressants (Elavil, etc.) and "older" anti-psychotics (Haldol, etc.) have been replaced with drugs with fewer side effects and perhaps better performance.

I seem to respond best to Lexapro (Celexa) as anti-depressants go. For anti-anxiety, I use Klonopin, although I've used Xanax and others.

Taken periodically, anti-anxiety meds are helpful for me, but if I take them all the time (like my doctor recommends for me), then if I stop I end up having withdrawals.

Some hypnotic drugs seem to have an effect of being able to not remember what's happened. I was told by my Orthopoedic surgeon that he could give me something before I got an epidural that would make my forget the experience. I haven't experienced that yet.

Regards,
Scotty

_________________________
An odd duck who likes even numbers.

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