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#70007 - 03/25/06 06:43 PM Re: Can't Blend In
Galapogos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 110
Loc: usa
Hi,
I'm gay, or at least 99% gay, but I pass for straight in everyday life without trying too hard. Most of the time I'm not too depressed about being gay, tho' I've got a long way to go on self-acceptance before I'm ready to not care if others accept me or not.

I'm not out, so sometimes co-workers or acquaintences, or casual friends will vent their homophobic fears, and I think, "if you only knew" . I go day to day not thinking too much about straight society, but then I'll be reminded what a small minority we are, how many people are oblivious to gay people around them.
When I was about 15 some freinds were hanging out at my hosue watching MTV. The video for some ZZ Top song came on, scantily clad women, etc. I was tired of the song, changed channels, "Dude! put it back, those chicks are hot!" At that point I realized, or noticed, how much sex was used in videos, commecials, etc. I'd been oblivious because it didn't have any effect. The rest of the week eveytime I saw a "hot chick" in an ad, on tv, whereever, I'd try to imagine how it'd look with a hot guy. Straight society has their "straightness' reaffirmed all the time, everywhere. It gets tiring sometimes.

Another time I was listening to song on the radio (Cherry Bomb- John Mellancamp) where the singer reminiscing about being young and in love, etc. I was sort of getting caught up on the song, then it occured to me that had "nothing to do with my life" and I didn't want to listen to it anymore.
As usual I'm rambling....let's see. Yeah, I think for straight people everything around them affirms their feelings, it's like fish in a fishtank, they can't see the water. When you realize you're gay all of those affirmations can be ovherwhelming. And sometimes someone who you thought was nice will make some homophobic comment, and I wish I had more courage to call them on it, instead I say nothing and a little chunk of my self-esteem gets chipped away.

_________________________
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel

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#70008 - 03/25/06 06:46 PM Re: Can't Blend In
Galapogos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 110
Loc: usa
oh, btw, i'm an INFP on the meyers-briggs scale. I forget my numbers, but I'm way out on the end of the scale for "Introverted"

_________________________
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel

Top
#70009 - 03/25/06 11:39 PM Re: Can't Blend In
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Dear Galapogos,
Yes, I so agree with your remarks. It shocks me sometimes when someone will ask if I have children, although I don't think I "pass", in general. Thanks.


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#70010 - 03/28/06 05:07 AM Re: Can't Blend In
TNuss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 202
Loc: Del-A-Ware???
If I had to classify myself, I have to say that Iím a bi-sexual male, living a straight life mostly out of fear of losing what I LOVE most in my life, my daughters.

I truly have a HUGE problem that we live in a world where a person has to be classified by there sexual orientation or their skin color.

_________________________
All my best!!!

In harmony,
Troy
________________________________________________________
I hug myself daily until the day I find the embrace that completes me.

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#70011 - 03/28/06 08:01 AM Re: Can't Blend In
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Galapogos,

I was struck by this comment of yours:

Quote:
At that point I realized, or noticed, how much sex was used in videos, commecials, etc. I'd been oblivious because it didn't have any effect. The rest of the week everytime I saw a "hot chick" in an ad, on tv, whereever, I'd try to imagine how it'd look with a hot guy. Straight society has their "straightness' reaffirmed all the time, everywhere. It gets tiring sometimes.
I should just say that in Germany and the Netherlands the situation is somewhat better. In Hamburg, for example, a big gas company ran an ad showing two guys cuddled together in a hot bubbly bath with the caption: "Sometimes the only thing nicer than a hot bath is someone to share it with." As soon as I saw it I thought this isn't just an ad for the gas company, it's empowering for gays.

But the other side of the coin is still there. This ad still stands out for the infrequency with which one sees this sort of thing.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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