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#69988 - 03/13/06 01:00 AM Identified
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
I had kind of a breakthrough with my therapist this week, and suddenly realize that I am a gay male survivor of child abuse.
The realization is so astounding to me that this could be a new thought in my consciousness after so many decades of therapy.
I definitely feel a shift for the better, but also anger for what seems now as wasted years of torture by panic and anxiety attacks. Just wanted to share as a new member. Thanks.


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#69989 - 03/13/06 04:52 AM Re: Identified
hanginon Offline
Member

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 89
Loc: sarasota, fl
Dear PB,
While I am sorry to learn that you were abused, I am glad you found this place to help you. Welcome!

I think you will find the guys here to be the best resource for stuff that we go through as "survivors" - I have grown tremendously because of this site and have even found one or two guys here that help me stay grounded and focused.

Please remember - above all else - to be gentle with yourself throughout the process of moving forward. you will be ok and you are safe here, among friends.

Take care of yourself,

John

_________________________
walker, there is no path, you make a path as you go...

(caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar...)

Antonio Machado

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#69990 - 03/13/06 05:45 AM Re: Identified
relaxingpiano Offline
Member

Registered: 02/06/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Miami FL
I think I knew all along I was gay but was brought up to despise, hate, shun the concept. And so when I met Jeff - well I completely fell for him and was so madly in love with him... and yet it took us a few years to really begin saying we were the "g" word (gay). We still struggle some with it but to us, we are just so much in love that we don't care what label is put on us. And we've been together 6 years now.

Congrats for discovering this part of you and enjoy it as you embrace this part of yourself.

Don

_________________________
Relaxing Piano Music from the Heart

http://www.donshetterly.com

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#69991 - 03/13/06 08:17 AM Re: Identified
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
pbfurm,

That's a real breakthrough. We can't possibly be happy until we come to terms with who we really are.

Your frustration and anger are normal reactions I think, but I would try not to dwell too much on that. Just look forward. There will be so much to discover about yourself.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69992 - 03/13/06 11:34 AM Re: Identified
watstobe Offline
Member

Registered: 02/18/06
Posts: 40
Loc: Jackson, NJ
pbfurm

I'm sorry that you were abused. I believe the breakthrough you mentioned is the best thing that happened for you. You will go through a process, which most of us did in dealing with the SA. Anger, frustration, blame, confusion, doubt and fear all are normal feelings you probably will have to deal with but once past that you will be free to live...really live life for all it is worth.

I have been down this road and kind of got stuck. Since I joined this forum I have found an inner peace I didn't have before. I feel I can express my emotions and feelings without a sense of judgement or that I am dirty, stupid or bad for having feelings toward men or that I had sexual feelings during the abusive years and with my moleater. You are very safe here amongst other guys who understand and are willing to share with you their struggles as you share yours.

Best to you friend!

_________________________
Eddie

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#69993 - 03/22/06 06:05 AM Re: Identified
pbfurm Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/12/06
Posts: 25
Loc: Los Angeles
Dear Eddie,
What is it like to really live life for all it is worth. What mindset have you adopted that allows this new found freedom. What are your passions in life, that keep you motivated, vital, and eager to face each new day with excitement and joy! Thanks.


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#69994 - 03/22/06 07:46 PM Re: Identified
Steven Heath Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/06/06
Posts: 81
Loc: New York City
pbfurm......congratulations on your breakthrough.....i'm so sorry for your abuse and all that resulted from it.....try not to let the past consume you too much....you have made a wonderful discovery..rejoice in it......for too many years my abuser....my uncle....told me that all people would hate me if they found out that i was gay.....it really messede me up on many levels for years.....not only was he a monster, but he was wrong....today the right people love me and for just the right reasons....a long time coming.....but it can happen.....i am so happy for you and proud of the strength you have shown to get to where you are.....steve


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