I appreciate the fact that you were courageous enough to write an apology and I, as well, would like to offer an "olive branch" in return.
I write this publicly because I believe that part of the group dynamic process is for others to see that differences can be worked out and we can each find it in ourselves to forgive.
I know that trust in others takes time and is something that must be proven through actions. You've said that you have had betrayal in the past and that is something that we all have to learn to live with. And, it happens to us each in varying degrees.
But conversely, learning to trust also needs to be taken in "baby steps". This forum is by no means perfect, but we can be certainly assured of a much more trusting environment here than if we were to, say, divulge our deepest fears and traumas in another venue.
This forum can also become a highly charged environment because we have a group of people who have been betrayed, cast away, disbelieved and abused. Because of this, it is easy to hit raw nerves and we tend to go into our "fight or flight" mode which is what we used to survive as children. In the process, unfortunately, we may have some casualties along the way.
I would also like to propose a challenge for you: as busy as you are in your life as a student (I remember those semesters of 23 credit-hours), it is equally important for you to structure some time for your own health and recovery. You mentioned that you haven't been very often to your support group where you live. I think that most here would agree that this is absolutely critical for your recovery.
It's easy to distract ourselves with the emotion of anger, and it's even easier to focus on issues that involve other people. But at the end of the day, the question that each of us needs to ask ourselves is: What have I done to better myself today as a human being? This doesn't mean that we ignore the needs of others - we actually help ourselves by lending a helping hand to someone else.
It's when we live in fear, mistrust and scrutinizing others that we really take away from ourselves and the things that we need to work on. When we have someone else to constantly "worry about", then we don't have to focus on ourselves.
So, you've taken the first step to healing - you have started to open yourself up to others in your life. Allow others to forgive, now. Try to trust in the goodness of other people. Don't try to judge people now by your experiences as a child. You may be pleasantly surprised.
I recently had a book fair at school to raise money for the library. Many of the students where I teach don't have a lot of money. There were several dozen instances where a child came in to buy a book and was 20 or 25 cents short. I told each one... don't worry. When you have the extra money, bring it to me later this week. Guess what? EVERY one of those children brought in the money that they owed. I trusted them.. had I not, I would have had to send them away disappointed that they weren't able to buy a book. But since I gave that little bit of trust, they came through and gained pride in themselves for being honest (which I made a big deal out of).
So we have had some differences in the past and I'm going to "wipe the slate clean" on my part. YOu have already made the first move in your apology. Now we can hopefully go on from here and make a productive and healing experience.
And again, I hope you understand that I posted this in the public forum- not to embarrass, but rather, to have other people hopefully learn from our actions about forgiveness and healing. That's part of the beauty of a group - and that's what healthy families are like.
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"