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#69726 - 03/10/06 02:30 PM Re: Dating anxiety **triggers**
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Oh, my, don't we all have major issues in the area of trust!!??!
Rabbit, I like the tone of your posts which suggest taking things one small step at a time. Your recognitions that some of our demons may turn out to be paper tigers is an "aha" moment for me.
---
I'm not sure what you do to find "an altered, more relaxed state before I go out on my dates." -- but if that involves drugs or alcohol, I'd just suggest caution. (In my case, that would be a disaster, but that's because I'm an alcoholic).
In any case, you sound like you're well on your way to healing and happiness. Congratulations, brother.
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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#69727 - 03/10/06 03:04 PM Re: Dating anxiety **triggers**
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rabbit,

Your post is really encouraging, most especially because of its very positive atitude towards YOU! \:\) . That's the key I think. We won't be able to share love and trust with others until we are able to love and trust ourselves.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69728 - 03/31/06 07:54 AM Re: Dating anxiety **triggers**
Rabbit Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 91
Loc: San Francisco
Here's an update.

I suppose my last and final encounter with my pal was a couple of weeks ago. I'm not what he's looking for, after all. I'm not sure he's what I'm looking for either. Live and learn, I guess.

If it were that simple, I wouldn't be quite so collapsed around transferring this one man's opinion to my own perspective of me.

Small steps forward are good enough for me, I have said many times. It feels like I've taken a huge step back after several small steps forward.

I'll post this and go pony up for my membership.

My heart's desire is yet to be.

With gratitude,
Rabbit

_________________________
Your love should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger

Only to someone who has the valor and daring to cut pieces of their soul off with a knife then weave them into a blanket to protect you

There are different wells within us, some fill with each good rain

Others are far, far too deep for that

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#69729 - 04/01/06 04:22 PM Re: Dating anxiety **triggers**
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Well, brother Rabbit,
You know, maybe it really is just "that simple".
What you describe seems to me to be not such a huge step back, maybe even not "back" at all. ---
perhaps a step to the side?
I really like the underlying tone of self awareness and objectivity that I sense in your posts; I think you are doing great work (and small steps forward will get you farther faster every time).
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

Top
#69730 - 04/02/06 04:09 PM Re: Dating anxiety **triggers**
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rabbit,

When we feel we have been hit by a big issue and don't know what to do about it yet, that doesn't necessarily mean that we have been set back. Sometimes it just means that we have come forward enough to deal with this one.

Could it be that what you are feeling is that you are ready for this issue but don't know what to "do" with it yet? If so, that's 100% okay! Don't rush yourself, and let your ideas and feelings express themselves.

On occasions the fact that we don't know what to do and feel confused just confirms that we are on to a big one now. It may be taking more time than we would like, but again, that doesn't mean we have been set back. To admit that something is very complicated is healthy and realistic; it's not really a sign of failure.

Just some thoughts.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
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