Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueturtle (46), David C (40), DavidC (40), Derdlecar (61), Hector (54)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 18 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63366 Topics
443074 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#6946 - 04/18/03 11:05 AM My Story
wanderer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 50
Loc: massachusetts
When I was a child, I was sexually abused over a two year period. I was constantly told all the bad things that would happen if I told anybody. I kept this all to myself for twenty years living with the anger, hate, fear, and associated issues with regards to what happened. Eight years ago during a conversation with a friend, I said the words "I was sexually abused when I was a kid". At that moment, the 20 year old weight was lifted from my shoulders and I felt this incredible amount of joy and happiness fill my insides. And at the same time, paranoia filled my head. And I spent the past 8 years waiting for all the bad things to happen that he said was going to happen. Last year I made peace with that man. And in doing so, feel blessed in the fact that not only am I a survivor, but now I'm finally able to move forward with my life and continue this journey out of hell. And in doing so, help some others along the way.

Thank you everyone.

_________________________
"i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell" (matchbox 20)

Top
#6947 - 04/18/03 01:37 PM Re: My Story
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
David--Wanderer,
Just had to add something, especially since your name is David.
David, this is David.
i think that one of the reasons that this site works for me is that, we are, in a sense, looking in a mirror when we come here. We see ourselves. We come here to talk to ourselves. We come here to reflect. We come here to confront. And, then when we run into someone with the same name, it only makes it that much more poignant.
I would be interested to know how you got to the point where you are now; what kinds of therapy--private--group, that kind of thing. Let me say that your happiness comes through in your post and that we all celebrate that.
Welcome to MS.
One of your new brothers,
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

Top
#6948 - 04/18/03 05:03 PM Re: My Story
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Wanderer:

We're glad you have wandered into Wolf Country! CSA is a horrible thing to endure & horrific to overcome, but this is a great place to do it. We're glad for your victories & your joy that you bring as we can all share with one another our own ESH (Experience Strength Hope). Take care.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#6949 - 04/18/03 05:39 PM Re: My Story
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Wanderer: As Wuamei Welcome to the Pack .We are a wolf pack cause we can smell the evil.

You story has filled me with so much joy. To have attained what you have can be an inspiration to all. PLease stay and enjoy the brotherhood of the wolf.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

Top
#6950 - 04/18/03 05:51 PM Re: My Story
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
David
Quote:
"I was sexually abused when I was a kid".
Hey, I said that as well. And like you a huge weight was lifted. Fortunately for me though my wife dealt with it and supported me through my recovery.

Your friend did you a great disservice and probably held you back, but it was probably ignorance of the facts on his part and I'm glad you've healed the rift. Friends are important.

And that's what you'll find here, friends who support and help. Welcome.

Dave.

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#6951 - 04/18/03 07:06 PM Re: My Story
wanderer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 50
Loc: massachusetts
"And at the same time, paranoia filled my head. And I spent the past 8 years waiting for all the bad things to happen that he said was going to happen. Last year I made peace with that man."

Thanks to everyone for the welcome. \:D

Lloydy, the above refers to the man who abused me, not my friend. When I told my friend that I was abused as a kid, all the things the abuser said would happen to me if I ever told anyone filled my head at that moment. And for 8 years I've been waiting for those things to happen. Of course they haven't and won't. It's amazing the childhood things we still believe as adults. Last year I made peace with my abuser. My friend and I have always been friends.

_________________________
"i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell" (matchbox 20)

Top
#6952 - 04/19/03 06:20 PM Re: My Story
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
David
sorry, I misunderstood your post. I've just read it again and it's clear to me now.

Sometime back we had a long topic on forgiveness towards our abusers, and it's something I've not been able to do at all. But I have no contact with them either so the issue causes me no problems.
But I realise it is a huge thing to do, and not something that's done lightly.

The secrets my abusers made me keep I kept for 31 years, you're right - they lied to us.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#6953 - 04/19/03 09:23 PM Re: My Story
wanderer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 50
Loc: massachusetts
Dave -

The man who sexually abused me was sexually abused as a child himself. Of course that's no excuse for what he did to me, but at least I have a reason. And maybe there's more to it than that. I feel sorry for him that he never sought help, but I'm sure back then resources were not available like they are today. When I turned my anger at him into compassion for him, that's when I forgave him.

_________________________
"i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell" (matchbox 20)

Top
#6954 - 04/20/03 06:20 PM Re: My Story
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
David
I can understand that, and it shows a degree of compassion and understanding you should be proud of.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top
#6955 - 04/20/03 10:35 PM Re: My Story
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
David:

My mother (perp #1) was definitely abused herself as a child, very probably including sexually. To bad she didn't break the cycle of abuse herself. That is a privilege that was left to me, and thank
God I've done it, with the support of a wonderful wife and of others.

If we as survivors can just not become perps ourselves, with our children or with anyone else, we have already done the world a great service.

This also takes yet another excuse away from our abusers and takes away another bad reason (there are no good ones) for us to blame ourselves.

BTW that means all you survivors out there too! ;\)

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#6956 - 04/20/03 11:06 PM Re: My Story
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
I think that is the difference between a survivor and a victim. Those who were abused and go on to abuse just stayed a victim and never became a survivor.

My mom (first perp) was abused herself as a child, and I was most likely even named after her abuser! If that is not horribly symbolic towards the cycle of abuse, I don't know what is!

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.