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#69445 - 12/17/05 03:04 PM Re: Talking to a friend
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
Thanks, Larry, for offering a perspective I hadn't considered.
We are possibly drifting away a bit from Danny's original posting on this thread, but is there a clear age of "informed consent"? We have laws that arbitrarily set such limits, but don't necessarily fit every situation. It appears to me from the general tenor of postings on this site that CSA is actually "situational" and the extent of any damage depends on many, many factors, only one of which is the actual age(s) of the victim and/or perp.
???
Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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#69446 - 01/02/06 07:47 AM Re: Talking to a friend
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Danny!!
Quote:
We've been dating for a couple of months .
Well done! Sounds like a cool dude.

Merry Chrismas, and a Happy New Year, and may you and yours have many more.

Take care,
Lostcowboy

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69447 - 01/12/06 05:04 AM Re: Talking to a friend
Dewey Offline
Member

Registered: 11/13/02
Posts: 137
Loc: the sunshine state
"A loving relationship"? Danny, that's the thing that crushes my head daily. I almost wish I had been left with stitches [no not really, honest I don't, please don't even start!] My point is, all the warm fuzzies that I recieved from my 7th grade counselor have been the thing that really got me sideways.

_________________________
I refuse to use my past as an excuse to not have a future.
My hero Dad; Trigger warning- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi3Hyxuf5AE

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#69448 - 01/15/06 10:14 PM Re: Talking to a friend
Stephen_5 Offline
BoD Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/00
Posts: 667
Loc: Northern California Foothills
Danny,

You'll be able to talk to him about it when the time is right. Whenever there is a power imbalance, e.g., age difference, position of trust, percieved love, etc., it is not a loving relationship, it is abuse.

Television has portrayed most young men/boys who have sex with an older woman as being lucky. Women who take advantage of young boys/students are not given the same treatment as men doing the same thing. I was taken advantage of by an older boy when I was 11 to 13 y.o. Was it loving, no. Did I think that he loved me, yes. Did it confuse me and make me think that there was something damaged with me for years, yes. Did it make me gay, no.

I've talked quite a bit with my partner about what happened to me. There are a lot of things that he'll never really understand. We had different childhoods, different experiences, different lives. But the relationship that I have with him is loving, caring and real.

Take good care of yourself,

Steve

_________________________
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.
Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007)

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