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#69272 - 09/24/05 04:11 AM Thank God I'm here today (triggers!)
Ryan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/05
Posts: 16
Loc: Gaineville, GA
I know I haven't posted in some time. I've just been trying to deal with everything I'm going through with myself and taking care of my uncle. I must say, though, last night I came the closest I've been to calling it quits on ALL levels since I was 23. I don't even know if I should post this here, but I have to let it out or I'll give in to these thoughts.

I've been out a seven-year relationship for over a year now. But since then he's called me every three months or so to harass me and he even has tracked me across the net to a half-dozen websites I visited regularly. As recent as last week, he found me at yet another website and has devoted his entire profile to slamming me. He's shared my history with CSA on that profile and is saying I'll turn out the same way as my stepfather; calling me kinds of things in relation to that. He's made threats via email to me about taking my life and harming my family.

I've already started legal proceedings for a warrant and a protective order, but last night I couldn't take anymore. I so wanted it all just to end. I'm not like my stepfathers and I never will be, but what my ex has on his profile for anyone to see is too much. I know I'm stronger than this, but I really don't know how long I can hang on anymore. It's stressful enough taking care of my uncle and seeing my therapist, but to have deal with my ex and what he's doing to is wearing me out. I don't even know if he has or can find his way here. God, I don't know what else I can do.

Sorry to unload here, I really am. I just hate this and I'm tired of it all. I'll leave it that for now. \:\(


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#69273 - 09/24/05 06:21 AM Re: Thank God I'm here today (triggers!)
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Ryan - I'm really sorry you have to put up with his nonsense!! It sounds like your plate is pretty full as it is! I am glad you have taken legal steps against him...he has no right to harrass like he is! You are wise not to hold it in but vent this crap. If you don't talk about it here, your T., your journal...it eats away inside and the result is we act it out...bad news! So? LET IT OUT!!! We're listening and it's really healthy for you!!

Keep safe and recovery focused!

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#69274 - 09/24/05 07:06 AM Re: Thank God I'm here today (triggers!)
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Ryan, I am sorry that your ex can't let go. If that other web site has a mod, I would contact them, about his profile. Even the webmaster should be able to do something.

Take care,
Lostcowboy

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69275 - 09/24/05 07:27 PM Re: Thank God I'm here today (triggers!)
Ryan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/05
Posts: 16
Loc: Gaineville, GA
Thank you guys for the support. I know I'll be okay, but it's really taken a toll. I don't know what I'd do if he runs me out of the groups I'm in on the internet, especially this one. The legal works will take a couple of weeks, so I'm just watching my back when I go out. The night before last I called my dad and his wife to come over. I'm glad I did. I was so close to giving up. Sometimes it's so hard to deal, but I know I can get through it. Thanks again so much.

Ryan


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#69276 - 09/25/05 09:17 AM Re: Thank God I'm here today (triggers!)
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ryan,

That's good you called on your Dad and his wife for support. It's so important to be able to ask for help when you need it.

On getting run out of here bro, even the idea makes my blood boil. If you get any trouble at all you should report the problem to the mod team and they will deal with it.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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