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#69216 - 08/26/05 08:55 PM apology
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Just thought I would apologize to all the gay guys here for putting up the gay-o-meter link. I meant to bring humor to lighten the atmosphere here, instead I brought chaos. I apologize for that. I think I will leave your forum for a while so you can have some peace. I need to work on me, some more in another forum anyway.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69217 - 08/26/05 10:10 PM Re: apology
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
LC,

I'm sorry you feel that putting up that bit of fun caused trouble. I personally don't think you did anything objectionable at all. It was there for a long time with a lot of people having fun with it.

Threads sometimes go bad, but certainly the guy who originated the thread isn't to blame for what happens weeks later.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69218 - 08/27/05 09:01 PM Re: apology
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
LC, it is not for you to apologise, the thread was hijacked and not your fault OK!

I can see why you asked for it to be locked, but it is not your fault, and I would have done exactly the same.

I have not read the thread fully, but just looked towards the end, and it seems that immaturity takes over sometimes,

take care,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#69219 - 09/01/05 09:12 PM Re: apology
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
As one of your fellow MaleSurvivors who found the gay-o-meter "test" to be inappropriate, I thank you for the apology. Humor can be healing indeed. However, when so-called jokes are made through the perpetuation of untrue myths and negative stereotypes, while being directed toward an already fragile group of individuals, well, someone needed to say something.

We men who struggle with, both, surviving childhood sexual abuse and living our lives as homosexuals in an overwhelmingly homophobic world, spend a great deal of time and energy reconciling these two controversial aspects of ourselves. Many of us also work hard at feeling a true sense of pride, but sadly so many among us never fully realize this meaningful, life-affirming goal.

Even if society finds it funny to laugh at the countless number of "gay jokes" floating around out there, many of us realize that such humor is often no more than thinly-veiled homophobia. Perhaps one day it will become unacceptable to post jokes about gay people here, just as we all know it would be viewed as outrageous to post negative stereotypes about women or black people or native Americans.

Take care,
Russ

P.S. I can't help but wonder if you would have remained so eager to post your mere "30 percent!" test results...if it had been 70 or 80 or 90 instead. Hmmm.


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#69220 - 09/02/05 06:21 PM Re: apology
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Ross,
Quote:
P.S. I can't help but wonder if you would have remained so eager to post your mere "30 percent!" test results...if it had been 70 or 80 or 90 instead. Hmmm.
Sure I would have, to be frank I was expecting to register high. While I have had an affair with a gay man, How Ug the caveman got confused by a gay guy! . I still feel that I am basically straight.
After becoming disabled, I was still confused, so I went to the library and read The Sexual Brain by Simon LeVay, while it seems to explain how gay guys become gay in the womb, it did not really seem to explain me, So I kept looking. I found (The Shy Man Syndrome: Why Men Become Love-Shy and How They Can Overcome It by Brian G. Gilmartin) now that book seems to explain me very well. I talk about it a little bit here. A strange way to masturbate
Also I found a web site that has Brian G. Gilmartin first book online if you want to read it. Shyness & Love: Causes, Consequences,
and Treatment by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin.
love-shy.com While Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin only talks about straight guys, I am sure there are love-shy gay guys also.
take care,
Lostcowboy
edited for spelling

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69221 - 09/07/05 05:54 PM Re: apology
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
LC,

Like some of the others here, I think you have nothing to apologize for. As for perpetuating stereotypes, well, think on this; most Irish folks share Irish jokes.

Jews laugh at most Jewish-based humor (why do you think Jackie Mason is so popular?).

Black people laugh at CERTAIN black jokes (Chris Rock - he tells the truth!), and even have seized the "N" word for socializing (which I find, as a white guy who fights for civil rights, confusing, as I find ALL racial/sexual/ethnic slurs revolting).

Stereotypes exist because, at a certain point, they're all based on truth. I happen to find that most Irish people love to drink, fight, and procreate - not necessarily in that order.

Let's face facts - it ain't stereotypes that are wrong. There are no "bad" stereotypes, as there are no "bad" words. It's the MIND who uses them you oughta be concerned about.

I myself know I'm whitey-the-blue-eyed-devil-paddy-o-mick-honky-cracker-male-chauvenist-pope-follower-Antichrist-injun-frog-Canuck-faggot-queen-swinger-bender, and you know something else? It doesn't bother me.

If it bothers someone else, too f**king bad. My self worth, and ALL of ours, are a dictatorship, not a democracy. There's only one vote that counts and it's our own.

You did nothing wrong, and I think you did everything right.

Peace and love (and if anyone has any problems with the content of this post, PM ME! Leave LC alone!)

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#69222 - 09/16/05 12:17 AM Re: apology
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
CP,

"If it bothers someone else, too f**king bad." ???

Nice one.


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