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#69156 - 08/18/05 10:37 PM Just for fun. How gay are you?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
I came across this the other day. If you decide to take the test, understand it is just for fun.
Gay-O-Meter, http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/G/gayometer/gayometer.html

Almost forgot, it said that I am 30% gay.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69157 - 08/19/05 06:27 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
chuck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 97
Loc: mid atlantic
lostcowboy,

Thanks for the test it was fun and I found out I was 46% gay. Does this mean I am bi or just confused?
Chuck


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#69158 - 08/19/05 07:09 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hmmmmm. I'm 37% gay. But some of the questions were so unfair. I mean, who cares about flowers? What is there to pierce below the neck anyway? Is there such a thing as a shirt for $100.00? Must be extra lush flannel.....

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69159 - 08/19/05 08:01 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 129
Loc: earth
ha, that was totally funny, but some of the questions were so unfair. apparently im 66% gay. so i guess the other 34% of me should get a girlfriend lol

_________________________
pUpPy

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#69161 - 08/19/05 10:58 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ha! Only 73% Jasper? \:D I feel so betrayed. I'm sure its that $100.00/shirt question.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69162 - 08/20/05 01:07 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
kaceechase Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 132
Loc: Georgia
43% here

_________________________
Come What May!
My name is Ken
I am a Work in Progress, Please excuse the mess from time to time!

I finally Realize, The abuse and it's Direct effects are NOT MY FAULT but The Rest of MY Life IS!

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#69163 - 08/20/05 04:21 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
blueelectron9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 387
Loc: Victoria, BC Canada
53% for me. It said I was "well balanced." Hehehe. It didn't know that it was one of my alters who took the test in the first place ;\)

Really. I don't know who I am right now \:\(

???

_________________________
An odd duck who likes even numbers.

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#69165 - 08/21/05 05:31 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
blueelectron9 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/07/02
Posts: 387
Loc: Victoria, BC Canada
Well, I'm back tonight realizing what I've done ;\) . I had to appologize to Doug for last night like I don't know how many times (I was a beast me thinks).

Shirley (don't call me that) I must be closer to 100% insane. Just kidding \:D

Peace,
Scotty

_________________________
An odd duck who likes even numbers.

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#69166 - 08/23/05 10:18 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
46% gay, but I'm pretty sure that's because I can't stand "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy." Mostly because of Carson! Does ANYBODY ELSE think that guy's a wee bit TOO queeny? \:D

Anyway, I think some of the questions were loaded. Not all gay guys are into piercings or $100 shirts.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#69168 - 08/24/05 01:21 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
jimrh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/22/03
Posts: 273
Loc: Roswell, GA
53% here, but I think otherwise \:\)

Scot I'm with you on Carson. Way too much to handle.

My vote for best all around (gay) guy would be Ty Pennington on Extreme Makeover Home Edition.


Jimmer


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#69169 - 08/24/05 02:14 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
RockyMtJoe Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/04
Posts: 97
Loc: East of Pueblo, Colorado
Well I think QE4SG is the Star Trek of this era:
to go where no man has gone before. But no
I would not hang with Carson. \:D

Carson reflects somewhere I read a rough teen life,
'bout how he survived the "locker room".
I as well was always feeling that "Tom of Finland" was after me.

Besides more gays and women need his skills than
the dismal men they try to make over. Whatever
thet dude in the Capitol One credit card ads with the "eeek eek" voice just gets to me.

Rocky Mountain

I have owned $100 shirts and spent hundreds on footwear Italian Shoes and Cowboy Boots. I gave up on the test......


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#69170 - 08/24/05 02:19 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
My vote, Jimmer, would be Pedro Zamora. Not because he was one of the first (real) guys on TV to be seen living a normal life, both for being openly gay and living with HIV, but because of his wicked sense of humor as related by his friend, Judd Winick.

Case in point, when telling Judd he was trying to signal that he was gay, Judd responded by telling him his signals were too subtle. Pedro shot back, "right, subtle! Maybe I should wear a tiara with a 'Big Fag' t-shirt!?"

My idol! \:D

Peace and love,

Scot

P.S. For those interested in comics and animated shows, Judd is still active beyond the "Real World." Currently, he's writing for Marvel and DC Comics (recent work - Exiles) and developed "The Life and Times of Juniper Lee" for Cartoon Network. Be sure to check out his early works, though - "Pedro & Me" (A memoir of his friendship with Pedro and life on "The Real World"), "Frumpy the Clown" (A syndicated "family strip" with a twist(ed) collected by Oni Press) and "The Adventures of Barry Wein, Boy Genius," also collected by Oni.

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#69171 - 08/24/05 06:10 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Egads! 40%

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#69172 - 08/24/05 11:36 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I retook the test trying to give the "gayest" possible answers I could think of. That got me up to 85%! But as many of those answers were so totally not me, hmmm....does that mean the previous result and this one ought to give some significant total. Okay...so 37% speaking truthfully and 85% mainly lies, that comes to ......122% messed up? That sounds right! \:D

Somebody help me with the math here....

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#69173 - 08/24/05 11:53 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
30% Gay, where does that put me!!!

So nobody fancies me ;\)

What is new \:\)

I thought I would have got higher on the scale \:\)

Oh well,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#69174 - 08/25/05 01:47 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Never mind Ste. Here, take my featherboa...I have some extra gay points more than you anyway.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#69175 - 08/25/05 07:08 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
I think this post is totally inappropriate. Parts of that "test" are extremely homophobic, and clearly unhealthy for the vast number of survivors here who are "questioning" their sexual orientation. Joke or no joke, it simply doesn't belong on MaleSurvivor.


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#69176 - 08/25/05 09:49 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Ross, I took the test as a straight man the first time. From your reaction, I went back and took the test as a gay man, they used the same questions as the first time. I then went and took the test as a bisexual man, still the same questions. The reason I said the test was just for fun, is I don't see how those questions could determine if one was gay, or straight, or bisexual.
As a guy who tends to be homophobic(scared of gay guy's coming on to him), I did not think of any of these questions as being homophobic. Could you enlighten me please? I have been trying to reduce my homophobic, you can read about it here, http://malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=000320

PS: I found the link to that web page in the forum of a gay web site. Feel free to read what they thought about the test. http://www.deweywriter.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=7199

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#69177 - 08/25/05 11:22 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Russ,

You may be right about the stereotypes, but one of the best ways to fight against hypocrisy and prejudice is to hold them up for ridicule. I think that is what this absurd "gayometer" does, and from the reaction of the gay members here that seems to be their feeling as well.

In any case, it is clearly a useless test if its result for Jasper is only 73% gay. And I still protest bitterly at the $100/shirt question; I didn't know there was such a thing. Seriously!

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#69178 - 08/25/05 04:47 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Russ:

Sometimes we have to laugh at ourselves. If we didn't we would all be in deep trouble. I don't think that anyone would take this seriously - it was meant for fun and all of the responses have been rather playful and child-like. Humor can sometimes be better medicine for us than all of the therapy in the world.

SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#69180 - 08/26/05 12:31 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Brothers,

Russ may have in mind that there really are issues that should not be joked about. I certainly agree. Homophobia disguised as humor is just prejudice coming in by the back door.

But I don't think that is what we have here, and Jasper really does have a point. The sort of nonsense one sees in that "Gayometer" is so typical of the bantering rather campy humor that you see gay people enjoying. Personally, I think gay humor is some of the absolutely funniest stuff I have ever heard.

But like anything else, to appreciate it you have to understand it. Gays have to struggle and argue for the respect and acceptance that the rest of us take for granted and demand as our right, and they aren't stupid. They know that many times they will be well received to their face and then be mocked or derided as soon as they leave.

Such problems have led the gay community to develop, as Jasper notes, a whole genre of subtle and sometimes outrageous humor that most definitely has a kind of dark and self-deprecating edge to it. There is an "insider" aspect to it, yes, and it is one way they have developed for relating to a world that most definitely does not yet really accept them. It's just part of what gay humor is.

As to whether this is appropriate here, well, yes, that subject can be discussed. Why not? Russ has reservations, so of course, let's hear them. But if we look at the reactions of gay MS members here, you can see that they are not offended and have taken the joke for exactly what it is. So I really don't think there is a problem.

I also agree 100% with Sophiesdad's comment that there there is nothing wrong with a bit of humor. We already have seen some of that elsewhere: all the silliness about the "mysterious SAR", which she seems to enjoy as much as anyone, and the lovely thread about Gaboogistan. SD, as usual, nailed it:

Quote:
Humor can sometimes be better medicine for us than all of the therapy in the world.
That is so true. There is so much darkness and evil in what we must share here, and I for one welcome the threads that prove that despite all the terrible things that have happened to us, we can still find that playful fun-loving streak in ourselves and share it with others. It isn't easy for the gay members to just be themselves here and "let us in", and I think that deserves to be acknowledged and respected.

I hope I am not offending my gay brothers by weighing in here. I'm not claiming any right to interpret you to the rest of the site, I'm just speaking as a guy here with something to say on the subject. If I have got it wrong please do say so. This is an issue of communication and understanding, and I think it needs to be discussed along those lines.

Love to all,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#69181 - 08/26/05 04:15 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Jasper,

At the risk of offending you again, I offer this constructive criticism, and I hope you will get some benefit from it.

I think you have made the right decision to leave at this time. The old saying, "where there's smoke, there's fire", comes to mind.

By this I mean, if you are receiving numerous PM's indicating that what you have said is inappropriate, doesn't that at least give you pause to think that maybe, just maybe, it was? Could that be?

Sure, there are people who take on the role of nanny, for good reasons and not so good, and express their concern for the feelings of others, and perhaps that can be taken with a grain of salt. In my experience these nanny types are often really speaking about their own issues.

But how many PM's are you getting, about how many posts? Doesn't that suggest anything to you?

The points about humor are well taken, but when you are presenting sexual humor in a forum for sexual abuse survivors, you are taking a great risk, on several levels.

In the poetry section, in a reply to a 15 year old Survivor of Sexual Abuse, you made two sexual references: rubbers, and spotted dick.

I don't care how you defend this with cultural and semantic differences, if you think those comments were appropriate, then again I think you have made the right choice to stop posting here.

Your points about Gay culture and needs are also well taken, but, this isn't a Gay forum. You ask why there isn't a private Gay forum. There are dozens out there, probably hundreds. If you want one exclusively for Gay Survivors, the search take longer, and the group may be smaller, but if that's what you really need, don't blame this place, or the people here, for not being that.

This site has a separate Gay Forum, because it was recognized early on that there are concerns and issues which Gay men face, because of Sexual Abuse, that are different or have different meaning to them. It has also always been a place where anyone has been welcomed to post or ask questions and discuss things.

It was also intended to be a place where Gay men (and their friends) could discuss the bigotry and misunderstanding they encounter continuously, even by the well meaning. In my three years here, I don't recall any incidents of bashing in these forums. If there are homphobic people here, they appear to be doing an exemplary job keeping that to themselves. Overall, this forum is one of the most understand and accepting sites I've seen.

I think that to claim that sexual bantering is a need and right of Gay men is just a smoke screen for bad behavior, and serves as well to reinforce the idiotic idea that homosexuality is all about unbridled sexuality.

Sexual bantering is also common in the "heterosexual world", but there is a time and place for everything. I think you are forgetting that. If I were in your living room, or a Gay bar I would know what to expect in this regard, but if you came to a class I was teaching in Networking, or a Town Hall meeting, or Heaven Forbid, a funeral, I would expect you to keep a lid on it.

Yet here you are in a forum full of hurting, damaged people; people you don't know anything about other than they have suffered and are suffering from Sexual Abuse, and you make sexual jokes.

In the "How Gay Are You" thread, you said "I was hoping for 69...percent that is!". Did you ever stop to think this could offend or trigger someone? I know for sure of two men here that were forced to do this. I'm willing to bet there are more.

I imagine you're going to think I'm attacking you. I can't control that, but I am not. I do resent you turning this into a Gay verus Straight issue. You do us all a disservice by doing that. I haven't seen any of your comments deleted, so who is censoring you?

You are leaving again, or have left. Your decision again, but should you return, I hope you will consider what I said here.

It comes down to this; we are not here to find and give help and support from others in our own particular groups, minority or otherwise. We are here to find and give help and support to Men who have been sexually abused. All the rest, all the divisions and differences we have are secondary. And if we must stiffle ourselves in small ways to be sure we do no harm, then that seems like a very small price to pay for what we gain here.

Good Luck, Jasper. I wish you well.

Donald

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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#69182 - 08/26/05 04:54 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
If anyone else is thinking of posting here. I ask you not to do so. I am going to see if one of the mods can lock it down. As it has taken a turn for the worst.

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

Top
#69183 - 08/26/05 10:24 AM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I don't think that there is a need to close a thread just because a difference of opinion arises. Japer asked that comments be made here in public and not just privately to him in PM; Donald has done that and has made his point constructively, without being offensive or aggressive about it.

That said, the thread really has swerved entirely off its original course as just a bit of humor. I also think that if we have comments to make to someone about their posting habits in general, that really does belong in a PM and not here. I agree with Donald on how this should be received: if I were receiving a number of PMs I would want to look at what I am doing and ask if I need to make some changes. A criticism isn't necessarily a personal attack.

My apologies, Donald, if I gave you the impression that I think homosexuality is about unbridled sexuality. That was not my intention, and to be honest I don't see in my post any place where that can be read into what I said.

On "a time and place for everything", yes, absolutely. But this thread does begin by clearly stating this is something just for fun. I would not argue that anyone can say anything here, but at the same time we all have to judge our own boundaries and decide what we will and won't read. The point is that anyone who sees this thread would have a clear idea of what to expect and can decide whether to continue or not.

I feel my post here is all over the place and that I am trying to stand in two different camps at once. On the one hand, yes, we are all hurting in one way or another, but I do find it helpful and refreshing to be reminded that sexual abuse was something that was done to me; it isn't the sum total of who I am and what my life is about. On the other hand, also yes, we do need to bear in mind where we are and how our humor will affect others.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#69185 - 08/26/05 04:04 PM Re: Just for fun. How gay are you?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
closed at Cowboy's request

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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