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#69079 - 07/30/05 03:18 AM Losing My Support
Ryan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/05
Posts: 16
Loc: Gaineville, GA
I've hit a snag. Another bit of drama to drive me crazy. My dad has decided to leave my second stepmom and return to my first stepmom. This really sucks. I'm not saying the two of them is a bad thing, but my first stepmom lives in Oregon. I'm so scared right now. My dad was my biggest supporter and now he'll be leaving. I don't know what to think.

Earlier today I was feeling like he was abandoning me so we talked about it. He said he's not abandoning me and that if I ever need to talk to him I can just call him on the phone. I don't want to have to use the phone. Even though this is shitty stuff I'm dealing with, it's actually what was bringing the two of us closer. For the first real time in my life, he was acting like a father.

The whole thing just adds more confusion for me anyway. I'm so tired of the multiple marriages/divorces my parents had. I thought my dad had finally settled down. He was married to Stepmom #2 for ten years. But he was married to Stepmom #1 for seventeen years. I seriously don't know how to take this. I guess I should be glad the two will try to work things out and my dad wants to seriously to the right thing with my youngest sister. But after ten years?!

Another thing is back in September of last year my dad asked me to take care of his brother who has all kinds of health problems. Dad will be leaving and I'll be alone in this. I don't know if I can or even if I want to. I'm the only person providing care for my uncle. This whole thing is just screwed up on so many levels. I just don't know.


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#69080 - 07/30/05 03:55 AM Re: Losing My Support
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
Ryan:

I'm so sorry to hear that your dad is moving away. It's always scary when we finally develop a relationship with someone to listen to and support us to have them leave. He really isn't abandoning you but it sounds like he has his own set of problems that he needs to work through. He also probably doesn't realize the depth of feelings that you have for a relationship with him and what you're going thru inside.

I think that this situation only confirms the fact that you need to continue to come here and write. We are here to support each other and we know deep down inside what it's like to live in our skin - something that people who weren't abused will never be able to completely understand.

I, for one, am here to listen, to lend a sympathetic ear and provide some feedback if it's needed.

SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#69081 - 08/01/05 01:10 AM Re: Losing My Support
Ryan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/10/05
Posts: 16
Loc: Gaineville, GA
Thanks SD. I appreciate what you said. Your right, I need to write more here. It can be difficult to do so at times.

I do have good news, though. My dad has decided to stay here and work on his current marriage. This makes me happy for myself and proud of my father. For once he'll be facing his issues instead of running away. The two of them will be going into counseling and working through things together. I'm glad he's doing this.


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#69082 - 08/01/05 11:06 AM Re: Losing My Support
sophiesdad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/05
Posts: 462
Loc: Florida
GREAT! Sometimes things DO work out for the best. Now you will have a better chance at building a better relationship with him which is a second chance that many don't have the opportunity.

SD

_________________________
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"

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#69083 - 08/11/05 09:02 PM Re: Losing My Support
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Ryan, I am glad he is staying, just like you wanted and I am sure he does not want to be away from you.

It sure sucks when I read a dilemma like this, but it is great when it turns back and turns out good.

It is nice to see a happy ending,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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