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#68228 - 12/29/06 04:54 PM My husband's 1st therapy appt
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Hi all, I forgot to post on this...not much to say...but he went to the therapist Wed. I purposefully did not barage him with questions about it...want him to know he's in control of that and I don't need to know what they talked about.

I'm just glad he didn't say "Well, that was a waste of time." I did ask if he had another appt and he said "In 6 months" but I know he was just kidding w/ me. ALl my therapist told me when I asked her was that she's agreed to work individually w/ each of us for a while before suggesting a session together, so I take that to mean he does have another appt.

That night he volunteered that she said he needs a pre>
_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#68230 - 12/29/06 07:27 PM Re: My husband's 1st therapy appt
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
BH,

I'm glad to hear your husband is going to therapy. I think it's a very encouraging sign.

One thing I couldn't help but see in your comments ( and forgive me if I'm reading into this- it is a very sensitive issue for me) is that you seem to expect something of an immediate response to the therapy. It didn't work that way for me, so please don't set your expectations too high. It will take time.


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#68231 - 12/29/06 09:39 PM Re: My husband's 1st therapy appt
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Thanks, guys, I am sure it will take time - a lot of time - I am glad he went at all. As long as he keeps going....and doesn't stop b/c he thinks there's Nothing Wrong. I have to confess, I was hoping he'd come home crying b/c he had talked about his abuse and that he was so relieved to finally get it out - b/c I just want that relief for him so badly - but I know I can be very patient and not expect anything for a long time. Just proud he actually WENT - I think it was a huge step for him.

Hmmm, maybe I'll ask if he wants to talk to me about it, but I'm pretty sure he won't, he never talks to me about anything significant. ;\)

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#68232 - 12/31/06 10:34 AM Re: My husband's 1st therapy appt
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
BH,

Cyber-hugs to you and he as well. I hope for both of you. Dwayne is right. This could well be a long-term thing for him. It could come quite slowly. Do what you can to continue to be the kind of support he needs. Your T can be of assistance with deciphering what that means.

My best,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#68233 - 01/02/07 06:22 AM Re: My husband's 1st therapy appt
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
BH,

I'm grinning over here about the sleep thing. My partner told me a very similar story about his T suggesting meds for ADD after his first session. (He never actually started any meds though)

I asked him (just now) why he picked that to tell me right off the bat and he said that it was because the suggestion of medication felt validating to him (he really had a problem that needed fixing, with actual stuff not just willpower)-- that is my translation of what he said about validation, not 100% what he said, because what he said didn't entirely make sense to me... I love him anyway \:\) \:\)

I also have to add my agreement to not expecting immediate results. I actually noticed that my partner seemed more withdrawn in the beginning of his therapy. He was taking his own time to process and that's fine too.


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#68234 - 01/02/07 04:27 PM Re: My husband's 1st therapy appt
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Sar, yes, I hope that my husband felt validated as well in his first appt - it's a small thing in a way,but a very huge thing to a survivor, I am sure. I am excited still that he went at all and hope to find out soon that he has another appt - I feel he probably does - he joked w/ me when he came home, he said, "Did you call the T?" b/c he knew I'd probably wondered what he talked about since he never talks at home. I said, "I don't need to know what you talk about" and he just smiled and patted me. It is OK if he gets withdrawn...I almost don't care about any negative effects (except for acting out of course) that come from him being in therapy - just to know he's getting help is all I'll need for a long time now.

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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