We have no league table of abuse.
i dont feel worthy to say i was abused because of many people on here being in much worse situations but i can't help but feel like he's ruined my life, i grew up like a recluse i hardly spoke for a long time and now ive just come to a point where i cant stop thinking about it and need some help!
There is nothing that says that one event or ten years of abuse has any difference on how we deal with it as adults.
I know people who were abused once, in a manner that some people might ( wrongly ) think was something minor and they are just as deeply affected as people who've endured years of unwanted sex and torture.#
If you believe that the age difference was enough for him to have power or control over you and make you do what he wanted you to do, then treat it as abuse.
My main abuser was also two years older than me, and that also creates its own set of problems.
We believe that they didn't force us, but think about it.
Look at some young boys you might know, and see the difference between a 10yo and 12yo, it's more than we remember.
At 18, which you are, the difference seems less. Certainly towards a 20yo. At 50 there seems no difference at all between 48 or 52.
So don't let that effect colour your judgement on what happened.
One other thing to consider is that many boys experiment with friends, but this is usually a once only thing that stops far short of penetration.
This curiosity and experimentation doesn't usually have any effect, I went through it alongside my abuse, and I treat it as something completely different to my abuse.
The judgement of whether it's abuse is down to the effects you believe are showing now, and whether the other boy used his age and maturity to persuade you into doing something you didn't really want to do.