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#67819 - 09/29/03 03:24 PM need a little support
stpbb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/03/03
Posts: 103
Hey guys, been away on the other side of the world. It was a really intense trip, full of some very strange & stressful experiences. I came back & am having some re-entry issues & wondered if you guys could offer any suggestions or support.

I spoke to my ex when I got back. He's made some good progress with therapy. The family is looking into the possibility of prosecuting his father, though he didn't mention that when we spoke. (his sister told me) So, in other words, he is quite tied up with his own issues and traumas and has plenty on his plate.

At the same time, because of my own difficulties in coming back, I miss him more than ever. He was my shoulder to lean on when I was depressed & this is the worst i've felt since that time, so I guess it is natureal for me to think of the comforts that helped me in the past -- just not realistic. I want to be happy for him & for the progress & I feel so selfish to think I could expect him to loan me his shoulder right now. THis is all something that is going through my mind, I haven't talked to him except for the one time & we had a perfectly friendly conversation. I feel like I'm losing my sense of reality on this though, asking the old questions -- why can't he be there for me? Why won't he talk to me? Why doesn't he call me?

But I know the answers & I understand how critical his situation is right now. I just feel incredibly sad about it all over again -- like we just broke up this week instead of when we did & like all the steps I took forward to move on have taken me nowhere....

-BB.


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#67820 - 09/29/03 04:34 PM Re: need a little support
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
BB.

Yes, it is natural to feel the way you have mentioned. But it is also natural to hope that a friend will be there for you in need.

Unfortunately, with SA, it is often necessary to look for support elsewhere.

This kind of experience you are describing is a test of strength. i think you are strong enoough to make it.

Hang in there and focus on the good things in your life. And create some new one's, no matter how small.

Hang in there. I hope it all gets better for you soon.

Fredom

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

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#67821 - 09/29/03 04:34 PM Re: need a little support
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
BB.

Yes, it is natural to feel the way you have mentioned. But it is also natural to hope that a friend will be there for you in need.

Unfortunately, with SA, it is often necessary to look for support elsewhere.

This kind of experience you are describing is a test of strength. i think you are strong enoough to make it.

Hang in there and focus on the good things in your life. And create some new one's, no matter how small.

Hang in there. I hope it all gets better for you soon.

Freedom

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

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#67822 - 09/30/03 09:16 PM Re: need a little support
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
BB,

Welcome back, its good to see that you are still around.

I would say its pretty natural too, the feelings you are having. Losing a relationship is like losing anything else, there is a mourning process. You mourn the loss of one part then you realized something else that you've lost and seem to have to go through the grief all over again. I think if you look closely at what you are feeling you will see that you are in fact mourning another feeling and not the same one as before.

I know its not easy and I don't want to sound like a smart-ass but it is progress.

I'm sure you will find someone who will appreciate and give you what you are missing now.

I wish you all the best,

Aaron

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

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