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#67698 - 12/02/06 11:39 PM Is he a survivor?
lillybunny Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/02/06
Posts: 2
Loc: New Brunswick



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#67699 - 12/06/06 03:58 PM Re: Is he a survivor?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Lily
the old saying is "if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck. Then it more than likely is a duck" comes to mind, it sounds a lot like the behaviour of an abused young man.

But the problem you have is, what do you do about it?
That's the hard part, and the truth is you just have to make your own judgements.

If you ask him outright he might run a mile and never be seen again, it might trigger a crisis, or it might be the chance he's been waiting for to finally talk about it.
I'm not a betting man, and there's probably other reactions I haven't mentioned as well, so you can see the kind of problems you might be faced with.

Depression can be caused by many things, so maybe a good doctor could recommend something, or better still a good therapist. Probably hard to find in N.B though, so take a look at your Gov't web site, there's so much good stuff on there for survivors and partners, the Canadian gov't really have done a good job

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence/

That's a link to the 'Family Violence' pages, the CSA stuff is amongst it somewhere.

Whatever happens, you have to work with him and not try and do the work for him.

Take care
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#67700 - 12/07/06 02:51 PM Re: Is he a survivor?
phoster Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/21/03
Posts: 758
Loc: ohio
no one can say except him. there are other things that can cause people to act like this outside of sexual abuse. the signs fit for sure, but only he knows.

i am not sure there is much you can do. he will have to reach a point where he chooses to deal with whatever is going on. i am not sure there is any way to make him get help. all you can do is talk to him, but in the end, it will be up to him.

_________________________
compassion is a light even to the darkest soul

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#67701 - 12/08/06 01:29 AM Re: Is he a survivor?
lillybunny Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/02/06
Posts: 2
Loc: New Brunswick
Thanks for your replies. I appreciate it. I decided to delete my text in case he ever came across it and recognize himself. Thanks again.


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