Just thought I should update...
My bf has now done an about turn and doesn't seems to think he's gay at all anymore. It's like just being open and honest about the scale of the fantasy thing has made him feel so much better about it all. We've been talking more about sexual stuff in general and today I noticed he became uncomfortable in the swimming baths when another man was next to us in the showers and we talked about that too. I think the whole thing is enormously freeing for him.
I've decided I'm not going to pin my hopes on this current positivity, in case in a another week/month/year, he makes a new discovery about himself and realises he'd rather be with a man. It really doesn't seem likely at the moment, but I don't want to kid myself that anything's certain at this point.
I have a more measured view of our situation now and I can only hope his current happiness continues,
Again I've got to say if it wasn't for this discussion board and everyone's support, honesty and wisdom here, I really don't know what I'd have done. Here is a place where we can write in honesty about our struggles and issues and it is so fantastic to know other people understand and relate to these difficult lives we all have. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone's help and compassion.