my bf lies to me all the time too. Sometimes samll insignificant lies, sometimes bigger ones. It makes it so hard to trust anything he says, although I'm starting to get better at trusting my perceptions. He twists things around all the time, so it's difficult to know the real meaning of things.....sometimes his 'kindness/thoughtfulness'' is actually just a cover for a load of other shit that he's really thinking/feeling. Reminds me of my dad actually. Now I understand why I've been nervous and on edge for years. I'm trying not to be such a naive, trusting sucker......I don't find it very easy!
You are certainly NOT crazy to think your husband can be helped....as for if he wants to be helped, I suppose that will depend on what he wants to change in his life. If he can choose you, his family, then perhaps that can be his major insentive? My bf has been SO much happier as a general trend since he began therapy 6 months ago, and before that he had 1 year of homeopathic treatment, which had already changed a lot of things for him. If you're husband could know the possiblities for healing and the percentage of real success in that area, maybe he might be able to believe it's worth it. I know at the moment, he'll just believe this is just 'who he is', but he needs to know that's not the truth.
It sounds like with someone as strong, solid, open minded and forgiving as you by his side, your husband has such a good chance to get through this,
take good care,