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#6726 - 08/11/06 06:35 PM Re: Family
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
I can't deal with this conversation anymore.


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#6727 - 08/11/06 06:47 PM Re: Family
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
Actually... no, I need to talk about this.

When you say what you said about Hauser's comment, that's triggering to me so rather than reply and try to explain, freak out and cause everyone to have a real bad day, I'm going to ignore it.

I've never been able to just come out and ask for help. The "who wins" thing, I never thought about it that way before... I'll give it some thought.

Goddamn I would love to be able to just come out and ask for help, or confront the old man, or cry, or love something other than alcohol/drugs and my motorcycle!


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#6728 - 08/11/06 06:59 PM Re: Family
mphsrvivor Offline
Member

Registered: 07/02/06
Posts: 33
Loc: Tennessee
Jaysen, just my 2 cents worth about the "He wins" comment... Taking steps to better yourself is not saying he wins. It's saying he's lost. You have enough strength left in you to not give in. You are the winner in this case. It is you saying ou will not be a victim of the past any longer.

I hope you decide to do whatever's necessary for your safety and sanity. I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do. As far as the family reunion mentioned at the beginning of the post, maybe now isn't the right time for you to put yourself through something like that.

_________________________
---Patrick

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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#6729 - 08/11/06 07:12 PM Re: Family
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
Thanks Patrick


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#6730 - 08/12/06 05:34 PM Re: Family
Jonathon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/06
Posts: 74
Loc: New York
Jaysen . . . I just wanted to let you know that I went to AA to stop drinking without rehab and all of that . . . it was hard and weird, especially in the beginning. But I have learned to live without booze for almost 5 years now . . . a day a time, as they say.
I wouldn't show up for this gathering just yet. My tactic has been to show up for myself first and to deal with my family when I love and understand myself more and can see their shit as theirs . . . not mine. Best, J


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#6731 - 08/13/06 01:08 AM Re: Family
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jay,

You don't owe anyone explanations here, just say what you want and how you feel.

On this:

Quote:
I've never been able to just come out and ask for help. The "who wins" thing, I never thought about it that way before... I'll give it some thought.

Goddamn I would love to be able to just come out and ask for help, or confront the old man, or cry, or love something other than alcohol/drugs and my motorcycle!
All these things take time Jay. You have made a LOT of progress since you came here, but give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. No one is keeping a tally on you or looking to judge you. The important thing is to stay on the path, but also to find your own pace and keep safe.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#6732 - 08/13/06 01:16 AM Re: Family
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
Jaysen - only the strong ask for help! It took me decades to believe that!

Best wishes ..Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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