Hi everyone, I just wanted to say thank you again to everyone who provided insight and comments during times when I was feeling worried and terrible. This place it truly a safe space for self expression and to safely discuss issues.
I just wanted to say that everything is going great! Over the last 2 months, I have bought a home moved, been dealing with a lot of job stress and issues and have had some major blowouts with my boyfriend. However, I have returned to therapy and he has had some personal revelations that have cuased him to become much more positive and far less dependent upon me. We no longer spend ridiculous amounts of time on the phone, in fact, he is usually the one to say good night first (since he is in a later time zone) He is much more focused on himself and his own development (as am I...I am really enjoying focusing on my new house). We are having a much easier time communicating and things are really looking up. He has been working on developing other friendships and being more open to the idea of socializing more often.
I know that we will have other rough spots in the future, but I am just really enjoying the positive upswing that we are in the midst of right now.
I just wanted to say that people are capable of incredible change. I don't know what makes it happen, but it is something on the inside that just clicks I guess...struggles will continue, but the desire for change and a better life is the motivation to keep plugging away. I guess that's what happened with me anyway, I continued to work on me and resolving my own issues...perhaps it was the power of example and my own personal ability to talk about my own desire to be better without implying that there was something wrong with him. Also his ability to hear what I was saying without feeling that I was making a judgement about him becuase he was at a different place.
I hope that this little post might inspire or motiviate someone else who is in a dark time. There were so many days and nights that I have cried and been angry about my relationship, a time like this seemed to be so remote and nearly impossible, but I didn't give up, because I see something in him (and me) that gives me faith that we can make it work!
Peace and Blessings...love and light