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#67038 - 07/03/03 07:22 AM i know i shouldnt post here, but i wanted to share with all.
lauraanimal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 58
Loc: montana
Today I was very confused about things, this place I enjoy so much for understanding and healing was being torn apart. I did not understand why so many things were being said it was confusing as well as hurtful to me. I felt judged and under attack, but I didn’t know what I had done. I seen my husband become very hurt and upset, but he had more of an understanding than I. I personally felt that there was people being attacked for just coming here for the help and healing they need. And I don’t think that is fair.

Joker and I had to sit down and have a talk about what was going on. He told me why he was defensive and hurt, why he struck out and then asked me how what was said made me feel. And I explained to him how it affected me.

Not because I am female, but because I am new here a few things that have been said in a blanket statement to all hurt. It made me feel as if no one here had a right to heal or lean on anyone for support. That if we did it made us weakling and out for the slaughter. I do not feel that this is neither true nor fair to all who comes here. Until after all was said and done I did not understand what the big deal about the “wolf pack” was about. And only because “I” live with someone who was here at the time all this happened did I get clarification on it. I am fortunate to have that. But most if not all of the new comers here do not have that privilege and do not understand. To me it meant, being attacked because of coming here felt like I was being prayed apon because of what has happened to me and reminded me so much of how my perps would control me. If I didn’t do or fit in to what “they”said I was wrong and punished and called names. This is not what this place is for. It is for healing and helping all who come here. It is to help us all to become stronger and understanding of ourselves. Not to hurt or call names.

I am proud my husband had the courage and the strength to stand up for how it made him feel. That is something he has learned to do threw coming here. Although he has never backed down before sence we have been together, it is more focused and actually controlled than it used to be.

I enjoy everyone here, I have no problems with anyone. Nor do I want any. I am truly sorry for all those who have been hurt by this, and those who were hurt by Lc . As well as all those who don’t know about it and was covered in that blanket statement. It is not fair to me or them.

Brian I can not say I understand your pain or the hurt you feel, but I am sure it has affected you greatly. For this I am greatly sorry. I enjoy when we talk and enjoy your posts. You have a lot to offer. Please know that I have no hard feelings toward you, it is not my place to judge anyone. And there for I will not do that to anyone. Please understand I know you did not mean to hurt me in the way I took it. Just please understand that not all hear know what happened a year ago and we are not to blame. So many here are new and do not care about weather we are a “wolf pack” or not. That we find ourselves in a place of healing and that this term is used as one of unity, not hurtfulness, for we are not aware of what it may or may not represented a year ago.

I myself don’t care what we call ourselves, weather it be wolf pack, frogs, flies, or bears. All I care about is the fact we all hear for one sad reason and that is because we all are survivors and need to heal.

I may be female and this may be a men’s board, but I have received such a warm welcome with open arms and because of this I for once in my life feel a part of something that is great. I have found a place I can also heal, a place I can send my friends and family to get help or understanding of SA too. I don’t want to see this board torn apart or divided over things that a lot of us have no clue about.

I disagree with the statement that I am a sheep or sheeple. I am here to heal just like all of us are and I myself consider myself a part of this place as well as everyone else. There are no labels here. I am hear to learn to stand on my own , if I need to lean on someone who can help me so be it, at least I am trying to learn to stand on my own.


Take care everyone and please let us all get along and not judge or label.

Laura

_________________________
always be true to your self and your heart.
dont forget to love yourself 1st, then the restwill fall into place.

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#67039 - 07/03/03 12:00 PM Re: i know i shouldnt post here, but i wanted to share with all.
lauraanimal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 58
Loc: montana
i requested to have this moved here so i wouldnt upset anyone.

thank you Bob for moving this for me.

Laura

_________________________
always be true to your self and your heart.
dont forget to love yourself 1st, then the restwill fall into place.

Top
#67040 - 07/03/03 11:23 PM Re: i know i shouldnt post here, but i wanted to share with all.
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I was happy to do it Laura.

I hope you do feel very welcome here, and that you continue to refer folks to this place if someone they love is a man who has been sexually abused.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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