I'll just leave this with my other comment for you to think about later, when you feel you are up to it:
The alcohol issue, fucking A, I don't even know where to start with that one. It's a real problem, I can admit that. Yeah I do it to numb out, I do it to deal with having sex sometimes, all the wrong reasons.
I don't know if I was an alcoholic, but if not I was pretty close. I didn't think I was having fun at a party until I had thrown up at least once, and there were times I was so wasted I went into convulsions. That's another topic, I just want to say I do know what alcohol can do to you.
Dealing with alcohol is in a way like dealing with abuse issues. You have to admit there's a problem, then you have to take the big step of doing something about it. There will be ups and downs, but it possible to get past this one.
Do you have a problem? It sounds like it. You are using alcohol to escape from other problems, even to the extent of drinking so you can have sex. The problem here is that gradually you will need more and more alcohol to get the same result, and eventually this will drive away people who would otherwise like to be around you. You wind up with a crowd who are into the same self-destructive behavior; if you don't mind falling into trash cans (one of my magic tricks) you wind up with friends who think that's cool too.
That said, I suspect you aren't an alcoholic yet. You are just using it for all the wrong reasons, as you say, and you can see it's getting into heavy territory. But why not admit you need help and ask for it? That's what you did when you came here, after all.
I'll stop here, because I don't want this to sound like I'm preaching. Just bear in mind that people who are alcoholics so often start out like you have, and then discover one day how cruel a master drinking can become.