Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
MADcHATTER (54), Ready2MoveOn (44)
Who's Online
5 registered (Obi, 4 invisible), 31 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63791 Topics
445474 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >
Topic Options
#66890 - 06/03/05 01:16 PM KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Wanted to post this in Family and Friends also.
PLEASE HELP GET THIS TO THOSE WHO CAN USE THE INFO.

This is the final letter from Charlie and Kevin. This wouldn't be heard by the Hastings 8th grade guys this year but lets get it out to who ever we can. Thanks Charlie and Kevin you did a excellent job on this. Tom
----------------------------------------------
Hey guys,
Charlie is 14 almost 15, and Kevin is 16. We have been asked to write this letter 'cause we're close to you in age. It's about a scary topic, child sexual abuse and yeah, it's embarrassing – tell us about it! It's never easy to talk about this – but it happens to guys like us everywhere, all the time.
You may think that sexual abuse only happens to girls, it doesn't have anything to do with you or your friends. Maybe you're thinking "I could never get hurt like that". That's what a lot of guys think. But if you could look at us you would just see a couple of ordinary guys like you. Kevin loves football and plays the guitar and Charlie's into skateboarding and writing. We joke and mess around like anybody else. Sexual abuse doesn't show on the outside, but it happened to us and that's why we're talking to you in this letter. A lot of guys have a hard time believing they can be a victim of something but sexual abuse is a crime and GUYS ARE VICTIMS TOO.
Look at the guy to your left. Now look at the guy on your right. You may think this is just a game, but do it okay? Look at the guys sitting in front of you. Just for a second. There's a real good chance one of these guys has been hurt. Maybe once, maybe lots of times, maybe he thinks it didn't matter; maybe he's too scared to talk about it. Imagine that you're hanging out with five of your friends. Statistics say that one of you could get hurt by the age of 16. That's a lot of us! So if this has happened to you, remember: YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
If a friend of yours is getting hurt and you figure out what's going on, don't blow him off. It's not his fault and he didn't ask for it. He's probably feeling scared and alone right now, so if he's your friend stick with him. Never say "I don't believe you" or "Get over it". Tell him "It wasn't your fault and I'm here for you if you want to talk about it". It's never the kid's fault when someone older forces or tricks us into doing stuff. And we're not just talking about the abuse. All the bad feelings about yourself and the other problems that come with abuse – that's not your fault either. Sometimes that's hard to believe and both of us still have trouble believing it, but this is important: IT'S NEVER YOUR FAULT.
We know a lot of you guys are gonna be giggling and whispering while this is being read to you. But check this out. Sexual abuse isn't about love or "doing it". If we're talking and I suddenly beat the shit out of you, is that a chat? If we're in the kitchen and I smack you across the face with a frying pan, was I teaching you to cook? Of course not. Sexual abuse is about power, violence and control. It's like saying to a kid "You don't have the right to be a kid anymore; you're just a body. You can't stop me so I'm just going to help myself." ABUSE IS ABOUT POWER.
What's the worst thing about abuse? For me, Charlie, it's the feeling of loneliness, it's like you're looking at the world from the outside. Feeling different and thinking that you're labelled in some way. Missing out on being a kid and having to deal with grownup stuff and make grownup decisions. When you're being abused nothing feels safe or private. I thought my body belonged to other people. I felt trapped and scared 'cause if you don't feel safe in your own body where do you go? For me, Kevin, it's the emotions of the whole thing. I don't feel safe in my own room and I'm scared of the dark. I hate it if someone touches me and if I don't see it coming I feel like I'm going to be sick. No way I will go into a room and be alone with a grownup. I cry or start trembling for no reason, even in class. I don't like myself much and even if something cool happens, like getting an A+ in English or scoring a safety that wins us the game, I still look at other kids and wish I was one of them. What we mean by this is that part of dealing with abuse is feeling like your whole life is a wreck and you're totally messed up. You're not. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
It's the abuser and all his/her lies and tricks – that's what's messed up. Feeling guilty or bad is another one. You keep looking back, thinking I could have done this or that. "I'm a guy and I should have said no". But we can both tell you most times it's not that simple. It happens too fast. You can't believe it's happening to you. You just get mixed up and scared, you freeze up and panic and feel like you don't have a choice. Maybe it's been happening for so long that it's become "normal", you don't know any different. Abusers have a million lies to trick and confuse you. You believe them because somehow it explains why this is happening: "This is our secret time", "Other guys do it", "Dads do this with their sons all the time", "You are special to me". Or you get threatened: "If you tell you will get thrown out of the house", "If people find out you'll get the blame". It's all lies and remember: YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ABUSE, THE ABUSER IS.
So if you're being abused what can you do? First thing, guys, you have to know it doesn't stop until you do something. Most abuse is done by people the kid knows, a member of your family or someone you see a lot. It's not easy when you have to face that person over and over again. A lot of times a guy being hurt gets desperate bit by bit. You don't see how everything is falling apart and you try all kinds of stuff to cope. Like drugs, cutting (self harm) or running away for example. None of that helps – we know, okay? Drugs just get you into a different kind of hurt and running away isn't cool like it looks in the movies. We've both been there. Ask yourself: if I do this, is there any way things will be better afterwards? If the answer is no, forget it. YOUR SAFETY AND HEALTH IS IMPORTANT.
Every kid knows that dealing with grownups isn't easy. For a kid who's being hurt it's even harder trusting grownups. You feel like you have nobody to talk to. But sometimes you have to be brave and ask for help. Tell your best friend or a grownup you trust. If the abuser is a family member you can talk to a teacher, school nurse or call a child abuse hotline. They'll help you get safe. Telling someone might be the scariest thing you'll ever do, but you can make it stop. For me, Kevin, the problem was feeling scared. I didn't tell anybody 'til I got hurt so bad I thought I was going to die. I finally told my dad by waking him up in the middle of the night with a letter telling him everything. I, Charlie, tried to let grownups know by acting bad and getting in trouble. I felt like grownups didn't want to see or believe what was going on. People around me didn't find out about the abuse 'til I had to go to hospital for emergency surgery. There are different ways of telling. A letter is a good idea if you can't make yourself say the words. If you tell someone you trust then that person is on your side and they will help you. Grownups will believe you: a kid who's being abused always thinks he won't be believed but that's just another lie that abusers tell us. If you find yourself not being listened to, keep trying 'til you find someone who will. Don't risk your life. IT'S YOUR BODY! YOU CAN MAKE IT STOP!
It isn't easy writing this letter. Both of us have been hurt and dealing with abuse is hard. It's not easy to start over, learn to live and act like a normal kid, trust grownups again. We have so many questions but there are no easy answers. We feel confused and mixed up a lot of the time. What happened to us doesn't make any sense to us – we're just kids, it's not fair. How can we stop this from happening to other guys? Speaking up is one way. Abusers try to make us feel embarrassed, dirty, alone and scared but they can't win if we start talking to each other about it. Knowing the facts makes us stronger and it gets easier to speak up and say "No! My body belongs to me!". Then if something happens to us or a friend we will be brave and tell someone and not let it go on for years and years, like we did. We all need each other. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS AND STAND UP FOR EACH OTHER.
Thanks for listening.
Kevin and Charlie
3 June 2005
Reading material:
How Long Does It Hurt : A Guide to Recovering from Incest and Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends, and Their Families
ISBN: 0787975699
When Something Feels Wrong: A Survival Guide About Abuse for Young People
ISBN: 1575421151
We Are Not Alone: A Teenager Boy's Personal Account of Child Sexual Abuse from Disclosure Through Prosecution and Treatment
ISBN: 0789009277
Phone numbers:
Abuse Hotlines/Local Police
Websites:
http://www.childhelpusa.org
http://www.malesurvivor.org
http://www.safechild.org
http://www.safeteens.org
--------------------
It's my turn to be a kid
------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------
POWER CONCEDES NOTHING WITHOUT A DEMAND, never has never will. Frederick Douglas
Teach the children to NEVER HIDE IN THE SILENCE

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#66891 - 06/03/05 02:39 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
SAR Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 3310
Loc: USA
Thank you Tom, and Charlie and Kevin. You guys did a great job.


Top
#66892 - 06/04/05 05:16 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
It is a fantastic and brave letter. It is so important for children and teenagers to hear about abuse in their own words. Charlie and Kevin, you have come such a long way with this. The worst ennemy of survivors is secret and silence.
I am sure your letter can help survivors in French speaking countries so I would like to offer to translate it in French so I can spread it around. As secretary of the NGO "Respect our child" we will be working on school programmes about abuse and it could be great to read your letter as a message to other teenagers. I am also thinking about a programme already in place in schools of the Montreal area. The programme is called "Clique sur toi" and their is a dedicated website for teenagers under that name.
Thank you again for this very brave and important contribution to the struggle.
Love and hugs
Caro (survivor and loving friend of a male survivor)

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66893 - 06/04/05 07:35 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
Quote:
I am sure your letter can help survivors in French speaking countries so I would like to offer to translate it in French so I can spread it around.
I think that's a really cool idea! I'm in Europe too (don't speak French) and I was talking to one of the guys here about using the letter over here. If you translate it to French, could you maybe add some links where French speaking kids can find information about abuse and get help? Maybe some phone numbers and books too?

I feel bad 'cause I haven't told my friends about the abuse yet and I don't think I'm ready. Not many people know what happened to me but writing about it helps. Maybe it was wrong of me to help write the letter when I'm still too scared to tell. But I'm real happy you like it. Thanks and hugs back.


Top
#66895 - 06/05/05 06:14 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Oki guys, thank you for that. I will send you a copy of the translation. Unfortunately, there won't be that many links because there isn't much available but will add whatever is available at the moment.
I wish you the very best in your recovery. Life is beautiful and there are wonderful people out there. \:\)
with my blessings
Caro

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66896 - 06/06/05 12:33 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I would also like to see how this letter can be used here in Germany. I take the points made by Charlie and Kevin about the need for links and a translation that still speaks directly to teens.

Charlie and Kevin, is that okay with you two?

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#66897 - 06/06/05 03:10 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
Quote:
Charlie and Kevin, is that okay with you two?
Larry, that's okay with me. I think it's really cool the letter's being used in Europe. I don't speak German but I understand a little bit. Thanks for the encouragement \:\)


Top
#66899 - 06/06/05 08:09 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I sent the letter to the Independent, its the type of paper that teachers buy I think.

They did ask to see it, but dont be annoyed if they dont print it, but at least they voiced an interest.

I also told them that I can fill in some background knowledge if they need that, but anyway, lets just see.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#66900 - 06/09/05 02:03 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hi Charlie and Kev,

Thanks - I will look into this now and lets see what happens.

Woof woof ;\) ,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#66901 - 06/10/05 02:10 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Charlie and Kevin,

Just an update. I have contacted our office for student support services here at the University and they are looking into the question of who I might see for using your letter in our area schools.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#66902 - 07/21/05 12:55 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Dear Kevin and Charlie

I have promised to translate your letter in French and this is done. Here is my translation. I know the mother of a young male survivor in France who is now 18. I have sent him the letter so he can tell me if I have been faithful in style to your young age (I am an old lady of 35 so my vocabulary can be very old fashioned sometimes !)
As requested your letter will appear on websites and showing web addresses of support associations (though there are not that many in French speaking). Your letter might also help us in our prevention programmes in high schools. So thank you again.
So far the MIESGUI association helping children survivors and their protective parent will publish your letter on their website. I will keep you posted on the spreading of your so important words.
Love and hugs
Caro
ps: here is the translation in French:


Lettre de Kevin et Charlie


Salut à tous

Charlie a 14 ans, presque 15 et Kevin a 16 ans. On nous a demandé d’écrire cette lettre à ceux qui ont à peu prêt notre âge. Cette lettre parle d’un sujet qui fait peur, les agressions sexuelles sur les enfants, vous pensez si on connaît ! Ce n’est jamais facile d’en parler mais cela arrive aux garçons, tout le temps.
Vous pensez peut être que l’agression sexuelle ça arrive seulement aux filles, que ça n’a aucun rapport avec vos amis ou vous-mêmes. Peut être même est-ce que vous pensez : « je ne pourrez jamais subir ça ». C’est ce que pensent de nombreux garçons. Mais si vous pouviez nous voir, vous verriez deux mecs ordinaires comme vous.
Kevin adore le football américain et joue de la guitare. Charlie, lui, aime faire du skateboard et écrire. Nous faisons des blagues et des conneries comme tout le monde. L’agression sexuelle, ça ne se voit pas de l’extérieur, mais cela nous est arrivé et c’est pour ça qu’on vous en parle en écrivant cette lettre. Beaucoup de mecs ont du mal à croire qu’ils peuvent être victimes de quelque chose mais l’agression sexuelle c’est un crime et les garçons en sont aussi les victimes.
Regardez le mec assis à votre gauche. Maintenant regardez celui assis à votre droite. Vous pouvez penser que c’est un jeu, mais faites le quand même ok ? Maintenant regardez le garçon assis devant vous. Juste pendant une seconde. Il y a une très forte probabilité pour que l’un d’eux ait été abusé. Peut être une fois, peut être plusieurs fois, peut être qu’il pense que ce n’est rien, peut être qu’il a trop peur pour en parler. Imaginez que vous sortez avec 5 de vos potes. Les statistiques disent que l’une d’entre vous a pu être abusé avant l’âge de 16 ans. Ca fait beaucoup d’entre nous ! Alors si cela vous est arrivé, n’oubliez pas : vous n’êtes pas seuls !
Si l’un de vos amis est agressé et que vous devinez ce qui se passe, ne le rejetez pas. Ce n’est pas de sa faute et il n’a pas demandé à se faire agresser. Il a probablement très peur et se sent sans doute très seul. Si c’est votre ami, alors restez à ses côtés. Ne dites jamais « je ne te crois pas » ou « oublie tout ça ». Au contraire dites lui « ce n’est pas de ta faute et je suis là pour toi si tu veux en parler ». Ce n’est jamais là faute des enfants quand quelqu’un de plus grand les force ou les manipule pour faire des trucs. Et là nous ne parlons pas seulement des agressions sexuelles.
Tous les mauvais sentiments que l’on a sur soi et les autres problèmes qui sont associés aux agressions sexuelles ça aussi ce n’est pas de votre faute. Parfois c’est difficile à croire et nous avons tous les deux encore du mal à le croire, mais c’est important : ce n’est jamais votre faute.
Nous savons que beaucoup d’entre vous, les mecs, vont glousser et chuchoter pendant la lecture de cette lettre mais réfléchissez à cela : l’agression sexuelle n’a rien à voir avec l’amour ou au fait « de le faire ». Si nous parlions et que d’un seul coup je me mettais à vous tabasser, est-ce que ça serait une discussion ? Si nous étions dans une cuisine et que je vous fracassais la tête avec une poêle est-ce que je vous apprendrais à faire la cuisine ? Bien sûr que non ! L’agression sexuelle se définit par le pouvoir, la violence et le contrôle. C’est comme si on disait à un enfant : « Maintenant tu n’as plus le droit d’être un enfant, tu es juste un corps. Comme tu ne peux pas m’arrêter, et bien je vais juste me servir ». L’abus c’est une question de pouvoir.
Quelle sont les pires conséquences de l’agression sexuelle ?
Pour moi, Charlie, c’est le sentiment de solitude. C’est comme si on regardait le monde de l’extérieur, se sentir différent et pensez que vous êtes étiquetés d’une certaine façon. C’est aussi passer à côté d’être un ado et d’avoir à gérer des trucs d’adultes et de prendre des décisions d’adultes. Quand on vous a agressé ou que vous continuez à être agressé, plus rien de parait sécurisant ou intime. Je pensais que mon corps appartenait à d’autres. Je me sentais pris au piège, j’avais peur parce que si on ne se sent pas en sécurité dans son propre corps ou peut on aller ?
Pour moi, Kevin, le plus difficile c’est les émotions liées à toute cette expérience. Je ne me sens pas en sécurité dans ma propre chambre et j’ai peur dans le noir. Je déteste quand quelqu’un me touche et si je ne me suis pas préparé au toucher, je me sens mal, comme si j’allais vomir. Aucune chance que j’aille dans une pièce seul avec un adulte. Je pleure ou je commence à trembler sans raison, même en classe. Je ne m’aime pas beaucoup et si quelque chose de sympa m’arrive (comme quand j’ai un A+ en anglais ou quand je marque un point pour mon équipe qui nous fait gagner le match) , je regarde quand même les autres garçons en espérant être à leur place.
Ce que nous essayons de dire là c’est qu’une des choses que l’on affronte avec l’agression sexuelle c’est le sentiment que toute votre vie est en l’air et que vous êtes en miettes. Mais en fait ce n’est pas vrai car tout va aller bien.
Toutes les saloperies viennent de l’agresseur avec tous ses mensonges et ses manipulations.
Un autre truc, c’est de se sentir coupable ou mauvais. Vous n’arrêtez pas de penser à l’agression, à ce que vous auriez pu faire. « Je suis un mec et j’aurais dû dire non ». Nous pouvons tous les deux témoigner que ce n’est pas aussi simple que ça. Ca arrive trop vite. Vous ne pouvez tout simplement pas croire que c’est en train de vous arriver. Vous êtes en pleine confusion, vous avez peur, vous restez cloué sur place, vous paniquez et vous avez l’impression que vous n’avez pas le choix. Peut être aussi que ça arrive depuis si longtemps que c’est devenu « normal » parce que vous n’avez rien connu d’autre. Les agresseurs ont un million de mensonges et de moyens de manipulation pour accentuer la confusion. Vous les croyez parce qu’ils expliquent pourquoi ça vous arrive : « c’est notre petit secret » , « d’autres mecs le font », « les pères font ça à leurs fils tout le temps », « tu es spécial pour moi ». Ou bien on vous menace : « si tu le dis, on te foutra dehors », « si les gens l’apprennent, c’est à toi qu’on s’en prendra ». Tout ça c’est des mensonges : vous n’êtes pas responsable de l’agression, c’est l’agresseur qui est responsable !
Bon maintenant si on abuse de vous que faire ? La première chose à savoir c’est que ça ne s’arrêtera pas tant que vous ne ferez pas quelque chose. La plupart des agressions sont perpétrées par des personnes que les enfants connaissent, un membre de la famille ou quelqu’un que vous voyez beaucoup. Ce n’est pas facile quand vous devez constamment vous retrouver en face de l’agresseur. La plupart du temps, un mec qui est agressé devient désespéré par étape. On ne voit pas comme tout part en morceaux et on essaie tout un tas de trucs pour gérer la situation comme les drogues, l’automutilation ou la fugue par exemple. Rien de tout cela ne peut vous aider, ça nous le savons ok ? Les drogues ça vous amènent à un autre type de souffrances et les fugues ce n’est pas aussi cool que ça en a l’air dans les films. Nous en avons tous les deux fait l’expérience. Posez-vous la question : si je réagis comme ça, est-ce que ça ira mieux pour moi après ? La réponse est non, plus la peine d’y penser donc !
Votre sécurité et votre santé sont importantes !
Chaque gosse sait que d’avoir à faire avec les adultes c’est pas simple. Pour un garçon à qui on a fait du mal, c’est encore plus difficile de faire confiance à un adulte. Vous avez l’impression de n’avoir personne à qui parler. Mais parfois, il faut être courageux et demander de l’aide.
Parlez-en à votre meilleur ami ou à un adulte en qui vous avez confiance. Si l’agresseur est un membre de votre famille vous pouvez parler à un professeur, à une infirmière scolaire ou alors vous pouvez téléphoner au 119, la ligne pour les enfants maltraités. Ils vous aideront à vous mettre en sécurité. En parler à quelqu’un, c’est peut la chose la plus effrayante que vous ferez jamais mais vous pouvez faire en sorte que les abus s’arrêtent.
Pour moi, Kevin, le problème c’est que j’avais très peur. Je n’en ai parlé à personne jusqu’à ce que la situation empire tellement que je pensais que j’allais mourir. J’ai fini par en parler à mon père en le réveillant au milieu de la nuit et en lui donnant une lettre où j’avais tout expliqué.
Moi, Charlie, j’ai essaie de faire savoir aux adultes ce qui se passait en faisant des conneries et en me mettant dans de mauvais plans. J’avais le sentiment que les adultes ne voulaient pas voir ou croire ce qui se passait. Les personnes autour de moi n’ont compris ce qui m’arrivait que lorsque j’ai fini en chirurgie aux urgences de l’hôpital.
Il y a différentes façons de dévoiler les agressions sexuelles. Une lettre c’est une bonne idée si vous n’arrivez pas à parler. Si vous en parlez à quelqu’un en qui vous avez confiance alors cette personne est à vos côtés et vous aidera. Des adultes vous croiront : un enfant qui est abusé pense toujours qu’on ne le croira pas mais ça c’est encore un mensonge de l’agresseur. Si vous tombez sur quelqu’un qui ne veut pas vous écouter, continuez d’essayer jusqu’à ce que vous trouviez un adulte qui le fasse. Ne mettez pas votre vie en danger. C’est votre corps et vous pouvez faire en sorte que ça s’arrête.
Ce n’est pas facile d’écrire cette lettre. Nous avons tous les deux été agressés, blessés et devoir gérer ça, c’est dur. Ce n’est pas facile de recommencer à zéro, réapprendre à vivre et se comporter comme un ado normal, faire confiance à nouveau aux adultes. Nous avons beaucoup de questions mais il n’y a pas de réponses toutes faites. La plupart du temps, nous sommes plein de confusion et mélangés. Ce qui nous est arrivé n’a aucun sens. Nous sommes juste des gosses et ce n’est pas juste.
Que pouvons nous faire pour que cela ne se reproduise pas sur d’autres garçons ? Parler c’est déjà un moyen. Les agresseurs essaient de faire en sorte que nous nous sentions embarrassés, sales, seuls et terrifiés. Ils ne pourront pas gagner si nous commençons à en parler entre nous. Connaître les faits nous rend plus forts et c’est ensuite plus facile de parler et de dire « non, mon corps m’appartient ! » Alors si quelque chose nous arrive ou arrive à l’un de nos amis nous aurons le courage d’en parler à quelqu’un et de ne pas laisser les agressions continuer pendant des années et des années comme cela s’est passé pour nous. Nous avons tous besoin l’un de l’autre.
Il nous faut en parler et nous battre les uns pour les autres.
Merci de votre attention
Kevin et Charlie
3 Juin 2005

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66903 - 07/21/05 01:25 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Thanks for doing the letter, Kevin and Charlie. Thanks for translating it into French, Caro.

I wonder if Google will pick up key words from it when someone Googles the topic in French. If that is so, it would be great to have some of our bi-lingual members get this (or other articles) translated into other languages.

I wouldn't recommend Bablefish as a translation device. I wrote up a help wanted ad to be translated into Spanish and my name (Ken Singer) came out as Ken Cantadore (Spanish for singer) and a few other literal translated words that made no sense.

Ken


Top
#66904 - 07/21/05 02:18 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Thanks Ken
I sure don't trust these kind of devices for translation. My next translation work is for the NGO REspect our child and also I am going to translate into French the booklet for male survivors designed by Sheffield survivors. Translation is time consuming so bilingual folks come forward !
I know a Spanish lady who could help out occasionaly, she is also bilingual in Portuguese (Brazilian portuguese). If you want something translated in Spanish Ken I can forward, I will see her tomorrow.
Warmest regards
Caro

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66905 - 07/21/05 02:20 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Could we set up a "translation work forum" where requests and proposals can be offered ?

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66906 - 07/21/05 04:43 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
The problem with all the translation programs is that they are, of course, entirely artificial. They cannot possibly capture the real nuances and emphases of what a writer is saying, and very often they don't even get the basic text correct if it is the slightest bit complicated. Kevin and Charlie's letter would have come out nonsense from such a program. I think your translation is really good Caro! That said, it's also good you are showing it to some younger native speakers of French to see if it rings true to them. The fact that the letter is the voice of two teenagers is the key to everything about it.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#66907 - 07/21/05 06:30 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Thank you Larry so I understand from your post that you are bilingual !
Are you German and French fluent ?????

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66909 - 07/22/05 12:28 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
Hi Kev !

A few answers to your concern:

- "Vous pensez si on connaît" this is a kind of popular expression not formal at all. It is actually clearer when you hear it said because there is a kind of intonation that goes with it
- for the "loneliness" translation, you would have been right if I had just translated "solitude" but I added "sentiment de solitude" which makes the translation correct.
My main concern of course in the translation was to keep your style fresh. That's why I have given it for approval to a teenage survivor I know.
I will let you know what he thinks.
In the meantime, I am glad this might boost your interest in the French language ! \:D

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
#66910 - 07/22/05 01:44 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
medicb4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 71
Loc: Sweden
I can translate to Swedish.

_________________________
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". -Anonymous

Top
#66911 - 07/22/05 04:29 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Hi Caro,

Yes, I suppose my French and German are both pretty good, though not as good as your English! I have published in both French and German, but I like to have a native speaker take a look at my text for me before it goes off to press.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#66913 - 07/22/05 09:25 PM Re: KEVIN AND CHARLIE letter
Caetel Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Paris, France
That one of a guess translation 'cos "safety" in that sense is NOT in my huge Harraps dictionnary

_________________________
Mitakuye oyasin ! We are all related !

Top
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.