Please don't feel guilty being here. The family and friends forum is where u should be. Might think about getting your own account at some time and writing in this forum, if u want to. Maybe talk it over with your bro. Just a thought.
All u have to do is keep doing what u are doing. Please don't walk on egg shells, he is hurting and so are u. He needs what he is already getting from u. The hugs, kisses, your smile and soothing words that together u and your brother are going to get through it together. Tell him that he is not alone and reassure that he will be ok.
What he needs is to feel safe. This means different things to a lot of people. For me is my teddy bear, hugging him as I drift off to sleep and I am 44 yrs old. Ask him what he needs to feel safe.
Trust is very hard for us as survivors of sexual abuse, maybe not a trust issue with u, but maybe doctors, police and any male if it was a male that hurt him. Be with him throught out the appt. and don't leave him alone when talkig with dr. etc... He might look brave and say he can handle dealing with the dr. alone, don't allow him to go in by himself.
About knowing what to say or not to say. I don't have an answer and neither do my parents. They don't know how to help me, but each time I talk about what is going on in my life they are there to hear. I dont go over specific details, but in genreral terms only. I have given my folks books about dealing with sexual abuse and they sort of understand. It takes time.
Might consider looking into talk help not just for him, but for u also. He is Not only is he going through this, u are also and u have to remember that.
U need to take care of Trinity also, don't forget her
Hope this helps. Don't want to sound preachy or saying that u need to do this and stuff like that. I just care and want to help
I can't come to the phone right now, I am out living my life
*** WoR Retreat Alumni - Alta 2005 ***