Hey..

I'm new here so I don't know what 'she knows' and such.. but sometimes people will understand that you have a hard time opening up, emotionally and/or physically. If you could just manage to explain that to her.. that you are just struggling and you want to get her involved but that you haven't found a way 'out' yet.. and ask her to just stand by and be there for you when you need her.. I think she'll understand. Just don't shut her out completely.. if you can't open up at this moment.. tell her that.

Good luck with everything..

Demonboi,

The first thing I would say is don't feel bad about your feelings. They are what they are, and you and everyone else has to cope with them and be honest about them. There is nothing wrong with you or your feelings - this is part of how you are coping with what happened. It is entirely understandable that you would not want close contact even with a sister you love: contact and touching is a rough thing for lots of survivors (me included). It doesn't mean you are losing opportunities or ruining things - you are still finding your way.

Have you considered writing your sister a letter saying whatever it is you want to tell her? Another boy a bit older than you did that, as I recall, and his story about it is on the survivor forum somewhere.

Hang in there,
Larry

Maybe I'll try writing it, would it be alright if I posted it here?

yes it would be all right, please do

by the way, I have three big sisters. and one little sister.
two big sisters know and care, and check in on me often

Dan