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#66527 - 06/03/03 10:46 AM Re: great expectations
Tom S. Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 161
Loc: Nashville, Tn
Cardinal Rule #1: Never allow your significant other, with SA issues, to have to be threatened by thoughts of being compared to anyone else in ANY sexual form.
He cannot accecpt anyone elses sexualality, past or present, because he has to constantly live with having to cover up and forget his. There is no such thing as favorable sexual thoughts for him that he wants to live with, unless he can build them with you.

Now for Biblical rule #7: THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTRY.

I am no where near out of sermon on this one, but unfortunatly; I am out of time.

quote: In this time of ecenomic uncertainty, it is easy to see who is dedicated to providing health care, and who is in it for the money.
Tom S.

_________________________
' None are so enslaved as those falsely led to believe they are actually free '

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#66528 - 06/03/03 04:38 PM Re: great expectations
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
*****MORE INCREDIBLY FRANK TALK FROM JAMES****


You need space. Stop with the 'safe distance' stuff. And what is this adolescent game of "I won't pick up when you call"?

Not to mention the control issues, the codependency, the drug use (steroids ARE drugs). You need to get help for you. You are so wrapped up in "his" issues that you aren't helping you.

Read back your postings. You are WAY overscrutinizing, number one; number two, JUST BE.

And I like to analyze stuff, I should know when someone else is doing it too much. \:\) Take this advice, please:

"Don't just do something...stand there."

I am very serious with that. Read it, Think it, repeat it like a mantra. SLOW the F down.

Find out WHY you feed so much on this chaos. Why do you stick around with it? What is appealing to you about all the fighting and crises? What would happen if it all ended tomorrow? What would the two of you do?

I get nervous for you, and I am not even living it! You do not have to be anyone's savior. Support yes, shoulder, yes.

Enough of the lecture. Take care...of YOU.

Peace,
James

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#66529 - 06/04/03 02:07 PM Re: great expectations
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
Wow James. please tell us how you really feel! (smile) :p

But I agree, take a break. I amnot sure you feed on the chaos; but your BF seems to get something out of it.

I am thinking, if you self-destruct, he will probably still be there with his issues.

Be a model for balanced, stable life.

Peace,
Freedom.

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

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#66530 - 06/04/03 03:22 PM Re: great expectations
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
Freedom -

I even wince a little some times when I read my own posts!!

But, I am having survivor honesty (I just coined that term) in which I call 'em like I see 'em.

I like your sense of humor!

Peace,
James

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#66531 - 06/05/03 10:16 AM Re: great expectations
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
James,

Thank you. Personally, I prefer the direct approach so yours works for me. I cannot see any reason for wasting time beating around the bush. But I do accept that what may be honesty to me may not work for someone else. \:\)

I like the term "survivor honesty" So you wince as well!? :p

Freedom.

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

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