PAS - Let me explain 2 things first. (1) Thoughts - Feelings - Actions/Behaviors are three different components of our being; each comes from a different source within; and (2) if we don't talk it out, we act it out. With this said, you and your bf have generally acted out the feelings physically interacting or verbally hurting each other. I believe when your bf says "feeling his anger", he is becoming aware of emotions/feelings that are building within himself [not acting on this build up]. Feeling angry and acting on anger are two seperate entities. If you feel the stress and hurt/pain/ etc...but don't talk it out, THEN you act it out physically, verbally, kick/hit walls, throw objects, whatever. If you feel your anger, you can talk it out and healthfully express that emotion in a safe, appropriate way.
Hope this sheds some light?
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd