Actually I "DO" take care of myself, or I wouldn't be able to do anything that I am doing.
Since this forum focuses on the people that we love who are having problems, it seems that this is all we talk about here. So I can see how it might appear as if that is our whole focus in life, when it really isn't.
You asked earlier about finding the time for projects like I did - well that is part of taking care of myself. I enjoy sewing and creating - it is an outlet for me and a break from the books. I also sing in a quartet, powerwalk/jog, and just bought a used bike to ride with my kids on the rail-trails. I am also pretty selfish when it comes to sleep - if I can grab a two-hour nap, I'll durn well do it!
Yeah, I guess I am often in "overdrive", but I have had to learn to be that way. My old job was an exercise in multi-tasking. Set up this test, set the timer, set up a different test while that other one is timing, and use that extra 30 seconds to get more supplies from the refrigerator. Raising three kids while working full-time and putting your husband(ex)thru graduate school teaches you that kind of stuff too. Except now I'm using that "talent" to do stuff for "me". ( me! me! me!) haha
I did read a few things about co-dependency, but I feel that most of it doesn't apply to me. As long as I keep a handle on my own needs and life, I don't think it should be considered a pathology to care and try to do kind things for people.
I have no plans to "crucify" my own life on the altar of "Geraldo's" problem. But it "is" the rejection that I have a hard time dealing with, simply because I don't understand it. I am at least learning to try not to take it so personally, and to accept the fact that he may never change his mind.
I do really appreciate all the input here