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#65812 - 06/16/03 08:21 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
stpbb Offline
Member

Registered: 03/03/03
Posts: 103
ugh. that stinks. I can only imagine how you feel based on my own experiences of having efforts unappreciated & communication cut off. I don't even really know how to respond -- it is just a real stinker of a letdown. I hope you're doing well with everything else you've got going on.

-BB.


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#65813 - 06/16/03 08:27 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I guess he isn't ready yet--but keep it, when he is ready he will treasure that.

Bob

How do you do med school and make things like that?

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#65814 - 06/16/03 09:17 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
Marc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 256
Loc: Tucson, AZ
Well, no offense to anyone but your friend SUCKS doctorfrau!

I'd have eaten something like that up in a second! That has to be one of the cutest stuffed animals I've seen in agaes... ('cept my piggy! :p )

Your friend may or may not ever come around... and that doesn't matter because you've done more in that one gesture than most people ever do. Be proud of what you did, both technically and compassion-wise. IMHO... YA DONE GOOD! \:\)


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#65815 - 06/16/03 09:46 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2258
Loc: Maryland USA
Doctorfrau,

It's really too bad that he did that. I hope you are proud of the effort you put into such a beautiful gift. If it really is the thought that counts, well, it took a lot of thinking to make something so beautifully unique. Maybe your friend isn't quite ready.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#65816 - 06/16/03 10:33 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
DF

I echo what Bob says. Keep it. He might come around.

Be proud of yourself. It is a work of art and I know all the love and concern that went into it's creation.

I wish that there were more like you for us in this world.

Please do not be disheartened. Give it some time.

Mike

It is better to try than to do nothing

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#65817 - 06/17/03 02:18 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
doctorfrau Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 60
Loc: West Virginia (NOT western Vir...
I AM disheartened. And I am TIRED. Every time I let my guard down and allow myself to "hope", I get kicked in the teeth. By the dates, the package had to have been sitting around for nearly a week before he sent it back. Who the hell knows -- whatever. I have never,ever been treated with such cruelty and indifference as I have by him. It confuses and discourages the hell out of me. Yesterday I cried. Today I am just numb. I don't know why I am surprised.

I signed up for a bike race in his area of Virginia in August, since I will be doing my rural rotation about 25 miles away. It so happens that the check went out in the mail yesterday -- a few hours before UPS called me that the package was returned. It's probably too late to get my $30 back. Screw him - I paid for a bike ride and dammit I'm gonna get one. I'll work out my frustration in exercise.

Whatever. The wolf is mine now. I made him and my daughters helped me stuff him. It is personal. His name is "Grrrrr", and he slept with me last night. He is furry and he smells good and he is mine.

I have a board exam to study for.

_________________________
"...your choice, is what to DO with the time that you are given."

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#65818 - 06/17/03 04:56 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Doctorfrau
Well, you know where you stand now.

You're standing proud, you reached out, you tried, you cared. He's lost a great deal.

Love the Wolf, take care of him.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#65819 - 06/17/03 11:01 PM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
doctorfrau Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 60
Loc: West Virginia (NOT western Vir...
Ok, I can be a little more detached and rational now. :rolleyes:

I guess(silly me), that I expected that the situation might have changed since April when I wrote and begged him to read this site. Apparently it has not - HE has not. The only thing that has changed is ME.

The man is a medical professional and a christian, I guess I somehow expected more of him. But I suppose that wasn't fair of me to expect under the circumstances. I allowed myself to get my hopes up for a thaw - and set myself up for disappointment. But how does one maintain hope without also creating expectations? I obviously have no clue.

_________________________
"...your choice, is what to DO with the time that you are given."

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#65820 - 06/18/03 12:07 AM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
doctorfrau, the problem is his, not yours.

You know that person in Med School that you can talk to. That will never be an obstacle to your progress. You need a little special care just now. Usually the person that takes care of that in the ms is very good--after all, lots of professionals go to him/her.

You sound pretty co-dependent. That is not a dirty word, but folks throw it around every time a person does a kind deed it seems. If you have the time you might want to listen to a tape by Pia Melody, or any of the co-dep gurus. Mellody Beattie was one of the first, and her stuff is still very good.

Right now, you do need to and deserve to tend to yourself. It sounds like you are in overdrive a lot.

You are a great friend. Now, you need to be a great friend to yourself.

Peace to you.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#65821 - 06/18/03 10:42 AM Re: Stuffed Animal/Mascot?
doctorfrau Offline
Member

Registered: 04/11/03
Posts: 60
Loc: West Virginia (NOT western Vir...
Thanks Bob,

Actually I "DO" take care of myself, or I wouldn't be able to do anything that I am doing. Since this forum focuses on the people that we love who are having problems, it seems that this is all we talk about here. So I can see how it might appear as if that is our whole focus in life, when it really isn't.

You asked earlier about finding the time for projects like I did - well that is part of taking care of myself. I enjoy sewing and creating - it is an outlet for me and a break from the books. I also sing in a quartet, powerwalk/jog, and just bought a used bike to ride with my kids on the rail-trails. I am also pretty selfish when it comes to sleep - if I can grab a two-hour nap, I'll durn well do it! \:D

Yeah, I guess I am often in "overdrive", but I have had to learn to be that way. My old job was an exercise in multi-tasking. Set up this test, set the timer, set up a different test while that other one is timing, and use that extra 30 seconds to get more supplies from the refrigerator. Raising three kids while working full-time and putting your husband(ex)thru graduate school teaches you that kind of stuff too. Except now I'm using that "talent" to do stuff for "me". ( me! me! me!) haha

I did read a few things about co-dependency, but I feel that most of it doesn't apply to me. As long as I keep a handle on my own needs and life, I don't think it should be considered a pathology to care and try to do kind things for people.

I have no plans to "crucify" my own life on the altar of "Geraldo's" problem. But it "is" the rejection that I have a hard time dealing with, simply because I don't understand it. I am at least learning to try not to take it so personally, and to accept the fact that he may never change his mind.

I do really appreciate all the input here \:\)

_________________________
"...your choice, is what to DO with the time that you are given."

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