Hi - Thank you to all that have been posting here; you have saved my sanity many times. I learned a lot from your words and stories.

My experiene is with observing the symptoms of abuse but not knowing (consciously) about the events (yet?). One of the things that bother me is the inability not to tell lies and decive when threatened. Now others begin to notice and it is causing problems. It may lead to the loss of someone special who has been lied to many times but is still hanging in there.

Once she learned bits and pieces from me, she began her own reserch. Now, she can read me pretty well but she does not say anything. I think she is giving me time to let her know in my own time. I in turn tell lies and contradict myself.

Has anyone dealt with that aspect?

Thank you, Focus.

check your private messages.

I think the idea is to be as honest and open a person as one can be. But that's not so easy if you've been deceived yourself about who you are by others. (The Lies). It may be best to trickle your stuff out, and not slam anybody with it. Lay some groundwork for a trusting relationship.

Focus
Lies and deciept is what gets us through our days until we decide to change our lives, as I think you have by recognizing what you're doing.

It's our coping mechanism, and we were taught to lie by our abusers telling us to lie for them.

"You musn't tell anyone about what we do, this is our little secret"

And we believed them.

It took me 31 years to stop lying for them, and it's the hardest thing I ever did.

But it's worth every scrap of effort, check out the "All Lies" post started by Don-NY and see how lies dominate our lives.
I bet you can add a few of your own Focus.

Be strong
Lloydy

Hello - Thank you ALL. New To This, how do I get private message? Focus.

Click on "my profile" in the top right corner of this page.

Check down through some of the other topics here because you will see at three of them on lies. It was a good discussion topic we had not to long ago and was very powerful.

Don