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#6572 - 09/20/02 03:52 PM Lies and Deception.
Focus Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/20/02
Posts: 7
Loc: East Coast
Hi - Thank you to all that have been posting here; you have saved my sanity many times. I learned a lot from your words and stories.

My experiene is with observing the symptoms of abuse but not knowing (consciously) about the events (yet?). One of the things that bother me is the inability not to tell lies and decive when threatened. Now others begin to notice and it is causing problems. It may lead to the loss of someone special who has been lied to many times but is still hanging in there.

Once she learned bits and pieces from me, she began her own reserch. Now, she can read me pretty well but she does not say anything. I think she is giving me time to let her know in my own time. I in turn tell lies and contradict myself.

Has anyone dealt with that aspect?

Thank you, Focus.


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#6573 - 09/20/02 04:31 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
New to this Offline
Member

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 138
Loc: Mississippi
check your private messages.

_________________________
"Knowledge itself is power" Francis Bacon

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#6574 - 09/20/02 04:52 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
JamesMichael Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/24/02
Posts: 134
I think the idea is to be as honest and open a person as one can be. But that's not so easy if you've been deceived yourself about who you are by others. (The Lies). It may be best to trickle your stuff out, and not slam anybody with it. Lay some groundwork for a trusting relationship.


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#6575 - 09/20/02 07:35 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Focus
Lies and deciept is what gets us through our days until we decide to change our lives, as I think you have by recognizing what you're doing.

It's our coping mechanism, and we were taught to lie by our abusers telling us to lie for them.

"You musn't tell anyone about what we do, this is our little secret"

And we believed them.

It took me 31 years to stop lying for them, and it's the hardest thing I ever did.

But it's worth every scrap of effort, check out the "All Lies" post started by Don-NY and see how lies dominate our lives.
I bet you can add a few of your own Focus.

Be strong
Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#6576 - 09/21/02 02:04 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
Focus Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/20/02
Posts: 7
Loc: East Coast
Hello - Thank you ALL. New To This, how do I get private message? Focus.


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#6577 - 09/21/02 03:15 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
New to this Offline
Member

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 138
Loc: Mississippi
Click on "my profile" in the top right corner of this page.

_________________________
"Knowledge itself is power" Francis Bacon

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#6578 - 09/21/02 05:23 PM Re: Lies and Deception.
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Check down through some of the other topics here because you will see at three of them on lies. It was a good discussion topic we had not to long ago and was very powerful.

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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