Can I pick some brains for some advice and information again? I just came off a couple of lousy days that should have been good, and am really frustrated.
If you'll allow a quick historical perspective. MY S/O, who is an SA started his journey 3 years ago. The first year and 1/2 was with a not effective therapist, who each week would increase, add on, increase, add on (ad nauseum) medications that not only hindered but created physical problems. Though I complained of this and gave factual proof of the damages being done, it wasn't until a physical and emotional crisis occured, and other doctor's finally questioned the massive amounts of medications he was on, that he realized he was being hurt. The meds were weaned off.
He did go back into a depression (heck, he was never really out of it, even with the massives drugs)and switched therapists. I was not surprised about a deepening or relapse, as every bit of data I can find regarding coming off of SSRI's states that this generally occurs up to a year or more after cessation, particularly of high doses.
However, now his Internist and Pyschologist talked him into going back on anti-d's again.
He felt that he had to, not because of what he wanted, but because the doctor's suggested it and the psychiatrist who is ordering it was angry with him when he checked up on meds and questioned anything.
Now, a week into the new regime. Slurred speech, can't remember things from one sentence to the next, unsteady gait, low blood pressure, and of course, the inevitable impotence.
But, we just had words, because I spoke the truth of what I was seeing, physically, and the cause of it. He just can't believe that a DOCTOR would ever give him anything that might hurt more than it helps. (I also am coming to the conclusion that he enjoys being stoned on the meds, so he doesn't have to face his problems).
I cannot describe the hell I put myself through the first year and a half, watching a wonderful man deteriorate, while being loaded with psychotropics that weren't accomplishing anything. I don't know if I can go through this again. I am trying to avoid hurting myself on this. Anyone going through similar? It would be nice to hear I am not alone.
"Love yourself, like you want everyone to love you." - no author, just popped into my head tonight, plagarize the Golden Rule.